Not winning

After I got this beautiful hairdo from Glenroy, I had to take lots of photos. Adam, my fiance, got this one quite by accident when the flash did not go off but I love it. It reminds me of a Grace Jones album cover from the 1980s-- glamourous, mysterious, bold, and eccentric.

On another note, I got the results of the Vida Vegan Con International Vegan Blog Conference Burrito Bonanza contest and the winner is... Monk and Mao with her dessert-rito.

I did not win.

Sigh!

I have not had this feeling in quite some time. It reminds me of jobs that I have applied for in which I throw myself into the application process and have glowing references and amazing portfolios, and go beyond what is asked for by assembling a proposed project outline and vision and even make it for the second and third round... but still not get the job. It was really a tough decision but.... Ugh! I cringe at those words.

But this time it is not a job.

It is a burrito.

Or rather 7 original burritos, one for each day of the week, each with cancer-fighting vegan ingredients and cultural relevance and sensitivity, original and funny names, and two fun and silly comicstrips. Plus tons of votes on Epicurious Vegan's facebook page and on her blog, I might add.

This is more than just a burrito.

I know, I know... don't be a sore loser. That's what my fiance said as he tried to comfort me. "Look on the bright side..." all that stuff.

It's not that I thought Monk and Mao's entry wasn't good with it's caramel chili apples and vegan dulce de leche. (I too love dulce de leche.)

It's not that the four other entries (beside Monk and Mao's and my own) were not good. And I admit there were a few really original and exceptional ones. (Shout out to my sistren' with the seitan burrito. When I read her entry, she would win for sure. Smoked seitan and tofu sour cream. What a dream?)

It's that I truly thought I had a chance at winning and at going west to Portland. It's that I thought my entry was really good, original, silly, and funny. And besides, I had seven burritos. Seven. (Isn't that supposed to be a special number?)

As a teacher (the other hat I wear), I often tell my students "it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game". Oh really? I have to eat those words. (And not just because we're talking about burritos.)

Well, the truth is that it is still hard to lose and sometimes a child may cry or scream or throw a tantrum when he does lose which I am doing a bit of right now. Nevertheless, he eventually, often calms down. The nice thing about being a kid is that there is usually some sort of consolation prize like a purple participation ribbon or a certificate. Even kids get goodie bags at their friends birthdays so no kid goes away sad.

But when you're an adult, there is no such thing. You either win or lose. You get the job or you don't. You get the promotion or it goes to someone else. He pops the question to you or he asks someone else. One or the other. Couldn't we all win?

I can't remember which author I read about who's mother told her to not worry about losing because it is the loser to who most people relate to.

Well, here's to losing!!!!

Now before you go ahead and think I am going to throw a pity party for myself, I did prepare for the possibility of losing (after I completed my burrito entry, helping me deal with the anxiety of waiting for a winner.) Before I share this with you, I would like to thank all of the folks who took the time to vote for me. You are truly awesome and I appreciate the few minutes you took to figure out the voting system and leave your thoughts and words.

So in the way I know best, with positivity, creativity, and tenacity, here are the things I learned about my Burrito Bonanza experience:
1) I have a lot of creative ideas hidden in my brain and they are dying to get out.
2) I really get wrapped up in a project I care about and will focus all of my creative energy on it.
3) I think in words, pictures, and now food.
4) I work really hard towards a set goal or project, especially if there is a reward at the end.
5) I have the basis for other successful projects.
6) My comic strip is funny and useful.
7) I love expressing myself.
8) I'm pretty competitive. I didn't get intimidated by entering this contest as a new vegan and even newer vegan chef. (There were at least two professional vegan baker/chefs/restaurateurs in this competition.)
9) I asked for support for my burrito and it came in abundance. Don't be afraid to ask for something.
10) A lot more folks have visited this blog thanks to the Burrito Bonanza contest, hopefully raising awareness about thyroid cancer, young adult cancer, and veganism too.