Now what?

I find myself at an interesting juncture. As I thought about the results and processed what the Endo # 4 and cool radiologist shared, I realized that based on what they said, all they know is that the thyroid cancer has not spread. (Yay!) But what they don't know is if the detected "activity" in the neck is cancer or not. So follow-up blood tests will determine this. And these tests will happen over the next coming months. I may or may not have to do the iodine again, albeit at a lower dose.

So now I ask myself, now what?

Live life normally, I suppose. However, the news is a little unsettling, isn't it?

Results, finally!!!

My very cool radiologist both phoned me and e-mailed me yesterday.

This is what she said in the phone message (aside from a few minor edits):

Your scan was reported quite a few days ago, the day you came in to have the extra pictures. Everything looked fine... There was a little focus of activity in the neck where the thyroid gland was. That we see basically all the time after anyone had surgery. It's very difficult for the surgeon to get every last bit of thyroid tissue out. There is almost always something left in the neck. That is really why we give you that therapy dose. It could be normal thyroid tissue or thyroid tumour. The fact that we give you 100 miC should treat that, kill that. And there is nothing nowhere else. Probably what endo #4 will do again will check you with a tiny bit of iodine in the year.

Then Endo #4 called me today. This is what he said (again with minor edits):

So there reveals that there is some uptake (activity) in the neck and this is normal. The presence of any remaining thyroid cancer will be revealed by follow-up blood test results. We usually wait a year to give the iodine treatment again depending on the blood test, depending on what the blood test results reveal. You probably wouldn’t receive iodine soon again since you are not in a high-risk group.

Wonderful news! I'm celebrating!!!!

But both of them said they have heard nothing about this mysterious symptom I have been having-- NOSE SORES!!! Yes. The grossest nose ailment known to man. It's funny since I have looked it up on the internet and others have claimed to get this after radiation (albeit, very rare). The thyroid cancer online support group I wrote to had very few who claimed to have nose dryness, but no actual nose sores. (These bloody scabs growing in my nose which are uncomfortable and tight.) Apparently, these too should go away with time. One person said a year.

Aaaaahhhh!

Waiting for Whole Body Scan Results Playlist #7

Jennifer Lopez Waiting For Tonight

You know I've lost it when I pull out the J-Lo. Okay... well she isn't my favourite singer but there was a time when "I'm Real" was my tune. Anyway, I'm still waiting. Hopefully I will find out today and not tonight (or later).

Waiting for Whole Body Scan Results Playlist #6

Seal - Don´t Make Me Wait - Paris - Legenda em Português

I chose this song from Seal's self-titled album Seal IV released in 2003. I love that chocolate smooth voice and I was probably the only Seal fan in my high school. (I loved Seal before Heidi Klum and the "Kiss from A Rose". Even before "Prayer for the Dying" and "Newborn Friend" in 1994. I'm talking about "Crazy" Seal in 1991 and "Killer" Seal in 1990 or rather Adamski.) I love Seal for his angsty and brooding tunes and really identified with him. He seemed like a loner, he always wore black, and I thought he was sexy and his facial scars only added to his appeal. Plus he is a Black Brit (like Estelle, read #5 on my playlist) so he has a cool accent. And he seemed unique: a black man playing acoustic guitar tunes heard on Seal (released in 1994, my first Seal album or cassette tape, rather). (Well, there were other famous Black male guitarists. Bob Marley... I can't think of any more but I know there are more... NOTE: My fiance laughs at me when I read this to him because he says there are so many like BB King, Jimi Hendrix, Muddy Waters, Lenny Kravitz, George Benson, Ernest Ranglin,... the list goes on and I know each of these artists. I feel like a dolt. LOL.) I even had an outfit that my sister nicknamed my "Seal outfit" which was black leather pants and a fitted black shirt with white pinstripes and buttons.

"Don't Make Me Wait" seemed so fitting. I love the blue lighting in this live Paris performance and the simplicity of the piano (played in deep jazzy chords) is delicious. I am tired of waiting and it won't be until tomorrow (at the earliest) to get my results. I will call my endo #4 back and if I don't speak with him, I am e-mailing/calling the radiologist at the hospital. (She seemed pretty cool.) Here are some lyrics from this tune that really spoke to me:

Are we tired of feeling blue...
Don't make me wait long
Sounds like a sad song of mine...

Okay, the rest of the lyrics don't really apply because it's talking about a relationship but which song doesn't. Interesting that he first line of this song is "Are we tired of feeling blue" It's very similar to his other song that I almost picked for this playlist released on the same album (Seal IV) called "Waiting for you":

Everyday, a shade of blue
You won't believe
What I'm going through
It just feels like I can't afford to let myself go
No, oohooo no...

Well, I love blue. It's my favourite colour and his been used to signify everything from sadness and depression to creativity to children to wealth to peacefulness to water. And I guess blue can be all of these things put together.

On another note, I have been finding a lot of blue butterflies around me. I have been photographing them and will post them soon.

Waiting for Whole Body Scan Results Playlist #5

Estelle feat. Will-I-Am-Wait A Minute(Just A Touch)

Although this is not my favourite Estelle song (try the house-inspire throwback "American Boy" and the sexy lover's rock vibes of "Come Over"), it is about waiting. (And also very difficult to load on to this blog, I might add. So you can watch the actual music video here. But it sounds like she penned the songs with the same mindset as Janet Jackson's "Let's Wait A While". Basically, "No matter how cute you are. You ain't gettin' any." Check out the dude's expression at the end. Shame! Dry! (As we'd say in Toronto.) Love my Black Brits! (You'll know what I mean with tomorrow's playlist tune.)

Waiting for Whole Body Scan Results Playlist #4

Janet Jackson Let's Wait A While

I loved this song when it came out in 1987 but I was only about 9 years old and did not quite understand "what" they were waiting for. I know they filmed this video in this kind of Film Noir style but it is extremely depressing. Why does Janet Jackson look so glum? Even more sad than the dude in the video who isn't getting any? She's obviously suffering over this one. Or maybe she is suffering from waiting the while or from telling her guy to wait a while. In the end, I guess she really did stick to "waiting a while" because 7 years later when she released the janet. album she changed her tune to "Any Time, Any Place". 7 years! Nevertheless, "Let's Wait A While" is a pretty song and has a good message-- SLOW DOWN. But who says waiting is easy? Definitely not for these "Whole Body Scan" results. It's already been 5 days! I called my endo yesterday and I have not heard anything. They said it should take 3-5 business days and I had my second scan done last Monday. That's 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 days! SIGH! I'm "Waiting to Exhale". That's you and me, Janet.

Waiting for Whole Body Scan Results Playlist #3

Bob Marley - Waiting in Vain

I wonder what Bob Marley would have thought about this video.

Waiting for Whole Body Scan Results Playlist #2

Hi-Five - I Can't Wait Another Minute - Music Video (1991)

In this installment of the playlist, as I await my whole body scan results, I'm bringing back the tunes of my yout'. This was my favourite song by the short-lived 1990's boys R&B-group, Hi-Five. I'm sure that this song serenaded a few high schoolers into doing things they should wait for. (HIGHSCHOOL STUDENTS: You can wait another minute!) And now in my 33rd year, I'm like, "What are these kids singing about? They're only 13!!!" Anyway, I didn't think that way when I was in grade 9. Don't you love how the deeply, heart-wrenching, sentimental lyrics have nothing to do with the sacchrinely sweet, happy-go-lucky music video?

Waiting for Whole Body Scan Results Playlist #1

Delroy Wilson - I'm Still Waiting

I had to dig through my dad's record collection for this classic, originally recorded by Bob Marley and the Wailers. For the next few days, as I await my results from my whole body scan, I will play my favourite songs about waiting. This one is the first one. I clearly remember hearing my dad play this one when I was a child.

In the meantime, this week I'm focusing on my healing as I attended and will attend a Reiki session, naturopathic appointment, and such therapeutic workshops on the healing journey, art, and writing. Good News: My engagement ring fits my finger again and I can actually turn it. Two weeks ago, my engagement ring did not fit at all (since either I gained weight or I was bloated from "going hypo" or both) and I was wearing it on my pink or above the knuckle on my ring finger. I met an older thyroid cancer survivor at my group today. Bad News: My sick benefits appeal was dismissed.

Cool Scan Machine Photos

Anyway, here are some cool photos of the futuristic machine which took the pictures for my whole body scan. This machine works slowly and is literally about 1 centimetre above my face and neck and other body parts. Also, I could not move and had to be strapped in. So I closed my eyes and meditated. It was the only way I could avoid thinking about the "itches" that I felt on my ankle, leg, ear, etc. It doesn't hurt. You just hear whirs and buzzes and electronic beeps. This time it only took about 25 minutes. (Friday it took 30 minutes.) Hopefully the technologist got a better scan this time.

Here We Go Again

Portrait - Here We Go Again!

The song has totally got me into the 1990s groove. This was one of my "high school years" tunes.

On another note, I was in the hospital again getting scanned. Went a lot smoother this time. I had washed my hair and scalp three times over the weekend (including this morning). My dredlocks still damp, I jumped onto the subway to the hospital. (My driver's license is still technically suspended but will be reactivated within a few days. I don't have to pay the reactivation fee.)

When I came in at 8am, I was directed to the waiting room for nuclear medicine. There was an elderly blue-eyed woman there and I listened to her speak. Her accent was unmistakable.

"Are you Jamaican?" I had to ask.

"Yes," she said.

I knew it. "I keep meeting Jamaicans in this hospital. And that's a good thing," I said.

It's true. When I had my surgery, my first roommate was an elderly Jamaican. Then when she was moved from my room (she was making a lot of noise since she was in pain, poor thing), another elderly Jamaican woman shared my room. Plus, my surgeon was Jamaican. And my medical doctor is half. Interesting, eh? I didn't plan it this way. Maybe my ancestors are connecting with me.

I used to think the hospital with the most Jamaicans was my "family hospital" in the U.S. in which many of my relatives did their internships and practicums and some still work today. (Most of my relatives work in the health industry in such professions as osteopathic medicine, psychiatry, maxillofacial surgery, pharmacy, physician's assistant, cytotechnology, nursing, biomedical engineering, nursing aide, etc. HEALING PROFESSIONS ARE IN THE BLOOD.)

Side Effects

This is a very, very detailed post. It will probably be of most interest to thyroid cancer patients or medical students or the very oddly curious.

WHAT THEY SAY: Radioactive iodine (I-131) therapy is a treatment for papillary or follicular thyroid cancer. It kills thyroid cancer cells and normal thyroid cells that remain in the body after surgery. Most radiation from I-131 is gone in about one week. Within three weeks, only traces of I-131 remain in the body. During treatment, you can help protect your bladder and other healthy tissues by drinking a lot of fluids. Drinking fluids helps I-131 pass out of the body faster. You may have a dry mouth or lose your sense of taste or smell for a short time after I-131 therapy. Chewing sugar-free gum or sucking on sugar-free hard candy may help.

WHAT I SAY: I did not show any radiation in my body after my trip through the airport scanner. However after my Whole Body Scan on May 6 (15 days after the radiation), the technician said that the image did not come out properly due to my hair thickness and trace iodine.

WHAT THEY SAY: A high dose of I-131 also kills normal thyroid cells, which make thyroid hormone. After radioactive iodine therapy, you need to take thyroid hormone pills to replace the natural hormone.
Thyroid hormone pills seldom cause side effects. Your doctor gives you blood tests to make sure you're getting the right dose of thyroid hormone. Too much thyroid hormone may cause you to lose weight and feel hot and sweaty. It may also cause a fast heart rate, chest pain, cramps, and diarrhea. Too little thyroid hormone may cause you to gain weight, feel cold and tired, and have dry skin and hair. If you have side effects, your doctor can adjust your dose of thyroid hormone.

WHAT I SAY: Thyroid hormone pills can cause side effects in the short-term. Immediately after my surgery, I received a dose of Cytomel that made me hyperthyroid. I lost 5 pounds, felt hot constantly, sweaty, had a fast heart rate, and would go to bed late and wake up early. (I also felt dizzy and fatigue immediately the first few weeks after the surgery.) This dose was reduced so then I began to feel normal. Two weeks before my radiation, I needed to go off the thyroid hormone pills completely (also known as "going hypo" or "hypo hell"). Going hypo made me feel very tired, overwhelmed, lethargic, and I gained weight. I also was not allowed to drive or operate a vehicle during this time. After my radiation was administered, I ended "going hypo" by going back on Cytomel and this time Eltroxin (two different thyroid hormones known as T3 and T4). I was to stay on these two for two weeks. I felt okay although still fatigued, heart beating quicker, and shorter sleeping periods at night but need to nap during the day. Definitely hair and skin are drier than usual. Hair is thinning too.

TODAY WHAT I SAY: Following doctor's orders, I stopped taking Cytomel and will continue on Eltroxin for the rest of my life. (Dramatic drum roll here.) I felt okay throughout the day (today) but I felt tired so went to lay down. Then I began feeling depressed and did not know why. Things began to irritate me more than usual and even a dinner at one of my favourite restaurants, I found myself wanting to cry. I left the table, went to the bathroom, and realized that maybe this depressed feeling was being caused by my switch off of the Cytomel. My depressed feeling did not stop there as I searched for a place to cry. I walked with my fiance and tried to keep the tears back, holding them in. I did not want to embarass him in front of his friends because I did not feel like socializing and I wanted to GO HOME to cry. Eventually, it became too much and we had to leave the social engagement. I was crying HARD and SOBBING and I could not stop. We took a walk. I was TREMBLING and crying. It was like the floodgates opened. We talked and like many guys, he wanted to fix it and wanted to know what he could do but I told him that I just needed to let it out and he could stay with me. Eventually, I stopped crying as I blew my nose in a receipt from my purse (thanks to my fiance's impromptu suggestion) and we returned to the social engagement.

WHAT THEY SAY: Acute Side Effects of Radioactive Iodine (RAI) in thyroid remnant ablation. Loss of appetite. Change in taste. Nausea. Sialadenitis (inflammation of salivary gland). Neck swelling. Haematological depression. Headache.

WHAT I SAY: My side effects after RAI were mostly loss of appetite which was present for the first two weeks and comes and goes still to this day (2 1/2 weeks after). I have definitely had a change in taste after my RAI although it is slowly coming back. (Today, my mouth started to taste like metal.) No nausea. No puffiness although my face looks puffy. My mouth feels dry at times but inside my nose it is like the Kalahari desert. Extremely dry. I had my first headache yesterday (Saturday). It came and went and then returned with a VENGEANCE. I napped to try to get rid of it and then eventually just needed to go to bed early.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful moms out there. I thought of the moment I received my diagnosis last November of papillary thyroid carcinoma. Part of me had this feeling, a strange one that my ancestors, the women in my family, were saying, "Hey! What's up?" This strange blood memory moment may be attributed to the fact that thyroid issues run on my maternal side-- from my mother to my late grandmother and to my late great-grandmother. (I do not know any further back who may have had thyroid problems. The further back you go in my family, the more you get into turn-of-the-century and 1800s rural Jamaica in which I do not know what thyroid illness detection was like.) As far as I know, I am the first one to have thyroid cancer in the family.

Nevertheless, I felt like this comforting link that the women in my family had thyroid issues (whether they be hypothyroidism, goiter, thyroidectomies) and still survived. I felt almost to surrender that it was my turn now.

There is no known specific causes of thyroid cancer but there are genetic correlations as well as links with radiation exposure.

When I was about 20 years old, I went to my doctor and asked him how I could prevent myself from getting hypothyroidism. He told me that there was no way I could prevent it.

So I guess it just happened.

In my books about healing, the thyroid is discussed as responsible for emotions and also for dreams/goals/passions. Maybe my genes, my ancestors are giving me a nudge to pay attention.

One More Time

Daft Punk - One More Time

Yes. I have to do my whole body scan ONE MORE TIME. :-( Ack! It's appalling. Maybe it wasn't supposed to happen yesterday (Friday) in the first place. I got to my appointment at 9:50am. (I mixed up my appointment. It was supposed to be at 8:30am. The radiation technologist just told me to get there as soon as I could.) So I show up, they do the scan, my hair is still done in this punky style. No problem.

Then I get home and I get this call. The staff on the phone tells me that the pictures did not come out right and that I needed to come in again to them again NEXT WEEK. I was shocked to hear this. On most of the websites I have checked, they do the whole body scan exactly 2-7 days after your Radioactive Iodine. When I went yesterday, it was already 15 days after my radiation (I-131). 15 days! And then they were telling me to come in next week!

I told the lady on the phone this.

So then she tells me to come in on Monday.

"Why did the pictures not come up?" I asked.

The lady said that some people's hair is thick and that I needed to wash it every day until the scanning again. Especially the top part.

"The scalp?" I ask. Yes, she said.

"Are you telling me that there is still radiation in my hair?" i asked concerned. I have washed my hair about 7 times during my isolation, plus my hair dresser washed my hair. I went through a scan at the airport twice and nothing showed any radiation in my hair.

"There is some trace iodine and it is distorting the picture."

And with that, I tried to figure out when I was going to wash my hair. The thing is... LESSON: Most Black people, like me, have very fragile kinky hair. Most Black people do not wash their hair every single day and I don't think there is the same need as my Asian, Aboriginal, Arab, and Caucasian brethren and sistren. The natural oils that the scalp produces do not travel along a kinky strand of black/African hair in the same way. So too much washing of Black hair causes excessive drying, breakage and even more fragility to the hair. (And chemically relaxed/straightened Black hair is extremely fragile.) Plus, since I have dredlocks my hair takes FOREVER to dry (at least 24 hours to air dry). And when your dredlocks do not dry thoroughly, they are at risk for MORE breakage and even mould-growth (since locs provide the perfect air-tight, moisture rich, dark zone for mould to grow). Vanity aside, I did not want to have to go through the process of washing my hair and drying every single day. (What an ORDEAL!)

But I spoke to my mother. And as wise as mothers are and as apt as mine is to tell me exactly what is on her mind, she told me, "Wash your hair TWICE A DAY. Get that out of your hair. Who cares Nadia! Even if you have to cut them, you have to do this test." (I know my mom would be happy if I cut of my dredlocks but that's another story.)

I sighed. She's right. (Not about cutting my locs.) This is not the time to be vain. The whole body scan will accurately tell me if the radiation killed the thyroid cancer cells. (And I've GOT to know that.) And I've met several survivors this past week who showed me that even without hair, we are beautiful beings. (Duh!) Plus, my hairdresser Glenroy aka Blueloc (God bless him) told me that you can save your locs and sew them in later. It's just another 30 minutes of lying in a bed with robotic cameras taking picture scans of me.

So off I am to the bathroom to wash my hair and to get ready to do this whole body scan ONE MORE TIME. (I hope.)

On the bright side (and there is always a bright side, look outside at the sunny day), my Halifax survivor sister Julie has started her own blog because she was inspired by my blog. (I love to inspire people. My goal is to do that each day.) It's called Silverlupus: life thru cancer and other hiccups. Please check it out at:
http://cancerandotherhiccups.blogspot.com
Julie is a young creative mama who is intelligent (so wise beyond her years), intuitive, and "genuineness".

Also tonight, I'm going to see WRONG WAY TO HOPE again at the CN Tower at 6:30pm with my fiance and friends. It'll be a YACC retreat reunion all over again.

PUBLIC ENEMY FIGHT THE POWER

I had this song running through my head as I was at the civic offices trying to get my driver's license "unsuspended". Thankfully, my mother-in-law-to-be gave me a ride there. I stood in a long line up for the information booth where the woman there directs you to where you need to go. She asked me to show her all of my papers, which I did. This was meanwhile there was some dude a few spots behind me complaining about how long it was taking and how I should go into the room and take a number like everyone else. He was talking to his friend and saying something like "this is not no counseling session". I got angry and told him that she has asked me to show her my papers. Then he had the nerve to say well she shouldn't and something about me keeping my mouth shut. That nearly pissed me off. Usually I do not say anything to a jack*&# like that but I couldn't stay quiet. I finished my paper work with the woman and she gave me a number. I called to the guy and said, "His comments were so unnecessary."

What amazed me is the fact that this guy could just mouth off in the line about a situation that was not my fault. I was co-operating by giving the paperwork. Second, everyone else stood in the long line quietly while he thought he was "too good" for this situation and no one challenged him about it. (Well, maybe being in a municipal courthouse had something to do with it.) I was happy with how I handled it though. Normally, I would try to ignore the fool (but fume about the situation inside), but those days are over.

Eventually a woman came over to me and said, "What an ass(*#$, eh!" I agreed. "He was probably upset about something else that had nothing to do with you," she said. That was the truth. I felt better because I tried to stand up for myself. Albeit, my voice sounded very wavering to me and hoarse.

So after all of that and speaking with different folks in the civic offices/courthouse, filling out forms, and advocating on my behalf, I finally saw some justice. I would not have to pay the $ 150 driver's license reinstatement fee. My $ 120 driving ticket fee that I had mailed in a few weeks ago would be sufficient. And my traffic court date was re-scheduled until December due to missing my first court appearance due to my cancer treatment. My license would be reinstated within a few days.

Got to love this country.

I went home and took a nap.

I've got my Whole Body Scan scheduled for tomorrow.

Jaunt in St. John's

Since I booked my plane ticket so close to the date of departure, the prices to fly had skyrocketed. The ticket that would have once cost me $ 650 was now about $ 1900 if I were to fly out of Deer Lake. So the best price for us last minute folk was to drive from Deer Lake to St. John's and fly back to Toronto from there. In order to do that, I had to spend a night in St. John's. Luckily, I had company. Christina, another retreat participant, also was flying back to Toronto on the same flight. Karine and Angie, organisers of the Young Adult Cancer Canada (YACC) retreat, drove us to St. John's. (YACC is based in St. John's.)


No beating around the bush here. (The church was called Miracle Temple.) This was spotted on our road trip from Deer Lake to St. John's. The trip was 637 km long and took us about 10 hours in total including all of the stops. We drove on Highway 1 TransCanada Highway.


Quidi Vidi (pronounced Kiddie Viddie) Lake


Christina and I in front of the lake.


Me in front of Quidi Vidi Lake.


The actual site of Quidi Vidi (old fishing village) reminded me of Jamaica. Although it feels "closed in" and secluded, it is part of the provincial capital of St. John's.


Quidi Vidi.


We finally arrive at the HI (Hostelling International)- St. John's City Hostel. I've stayed at hostels all across Canada when I was running my festival years ago. HI-Hostels are clean, simple, and much cheaper than a hotel.


The steep hills of the streets in St. John's, Newfoundland.


Yes, those are stairs on the sidewalk to go up the hill.


The Sprout. Only the premiere one and only vegetarian/vegan restaurant in St. John's. As soon as I knew I was coming to Newfoundland, I looked up the veggie restaurants on the internet.


Christina and I are so happy to finally get a seat after waiting for 30 minutes. But it was worth it since we got to sit right at the front in the sunshine.


Sipping my precious green tea.


My beautiful meal of vegan Shepherd pie and green salad.


Christina had mango juice with mineral water and miso noodle soup with rice crackers.


Mmmmm... once I talked to the St. John's guys who sat beside us, one was so generous enough to let me sample the dessert from his plate. I quickly changed my original choice (Chocolate cashew cake) to a spicy brownie which I'm eating here.


Beloved spicy brownie. I kept asking the staff about the secret ingredient. There was crushed pepper on the brownie but there was this irresistible toffee taste to the brownie itself and the chocolate was not too bitter or overwhelming.


Proof that Jamaicans can be found everywhere!


Piatto was where I had my cheeseless pizza the night before.


Beautiful art that pays tribute to the early settlers and the fishing industry.


The first of many stops at St. John's souvenir shops. The Tickle Trunk is the name of Mr. Dress Up's costume trunk. (If you grew up on Canadian television, you'll get the reference to the CBC show "Mr. Dress Up".) Sorry to say, I didn't see an actual tickle trunk there.


Down Home souvenir shop.


There were these bricks that had names of different people embedded in the sidewalk. A walk of fame? No, more like a memorial walk.


Newfoundland Supreme Court.


St. John's harbour.


Boat in the harbour.


You can see rocky hills in the St. John's harbour.


The famous rainbow-coloured houses of St. John's.


More rainbow-coloured houses.


A unique sculpture at St. John's harbour.


The story behind the salted Newfoundland codfish or "saltfish" and how it got to be a staple in the Caribbean.


Easternmost point of Canada #1. This is as close to the edge as I would go.


Easternmost point of Canada #2. That is Christina who went to the edge. Christina is pretty brave to go to the edge. She has two artificial knees and hips and is a six-year cancer survivor. Don't let her pretty smile fool you. She's one tough cookie.


Easternmost point of Canada #3.


Easternmost point of Canada #4.


Easternmost point of Canada #5.


Easternmost point of Canada #6.


The moss that grows on the Easternmost point of Canada.


Standing at the Easternmost point of Canada. I love the natural ruggedness of this country.


Standing at Signal Hill. It sits at the height of St. John's and you can look down and see the metropolis spread. Cyclists actively ride up here and there is such sense of community up here. (There are lots of tourists.)


Signal Hill is the place where on 12 December 1901, the first transatlantic wireless transmission was received here by Guglielmo Marconi in an abandoned fever and Diphtheria hospital, which has since been destroyed by fire. The transmission, in Morse code, originated from his Poldhu Wireless Station, Cornwall, UK. (Thanks wikipedia.)

Rocky Harbour Retreat Highlights

I was a little bit skeptical about this at the beginning. The confidence that I had coming to the retreat melted away and all the fears came that first night. I began to wonder if I should even be there. Besides I have thyroid cancer (aka the best cancer). I didn't know if mine was serious enough to come to a cancer retreat. (LIES!) Other participants at the retreat were told that they had the best cancer too. And there were still others who thought they did not have it as bad as the next person. But what I learned was that CANCER is CANCER. We all have been impacted by our diagnosis in some way. There was a lot of sharing, small groups, and fun times. We ate really well and this was the first vegan outing I ever had. (By the way, I developed some vegan survival skills.) I have not cried so much since my diagnosis as I did that weekend nor have I laughed so much. I CANCERvivors really know how to have fun. We had a talent show. (A sense of humour is absolutely necessary when you have cancer.) And when I needed to take a nap or a break, it was TOTALLY okay. Everyone understood why. I came to this retreat, a little concerned, worried, and not sure how I was going to be (feel). I go home feeling more clearheaded, prepared, and with new friends! (I posted some photos of the friends I made. Others were not posted if I did not get to ask for their permission.)


Ray and I.


Hiking to the lookout.


Doing a little karaoke. Since the operation, my singing voice is still a bit mashed. (I sing in a lower register now and there are some notes I can't reach.) So I was a little self-conscious to say the least. However the participants were very encouraging and some also had voice changes as a result of their treatments. It was such a forgiving audience. I sang "Groove is in the Heart" by Dee-Lite and "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin.


Getting ready for the Polar Bear Dip.


The brave 'uns- Josh and Mikey.


Amy and I met at the airport that first night in Deer Lake and cabbed it to the motel. I know so many Amys.


Steph, my roommate, and I.


Steph, me, and Joey.


Those are really my feet. Proof that I was really there at Gros Morne Park.


More proof.


Robin, Joey, and I shared this wonderful view.


Below that edge was huge drop off cliff. I made sure that I stayed safely back.


Enjoying the fresh cool air.


I was really there.


One of Rocky Harbour's cemeteries.


Heading back...


In this beautiful place, there were so many for sale signs.


Last Gros Morne sunset.


Me, Julie, and Josh-- the three musketeers.


Tamarah, my Haitian sister, and I. We were so happy that we were not the only Black girls in Newfoundland that weekend. (LOL)


I took a leap of faith to come here.


Bye Gros Morne.


The golden coach awaits.


The trip back to Deer Lake.


More beautiful sights.


My one and only moose sighting during the whole trip. Poor thing got scared and ran away.