Lacing Up for the Toronto Thyroid Cancer Awareness Run

I'm lacing up again. I have been wanting to do another running event for the longest time. The last time I did a running event was in 2011 when I did the Scotiabank Waterfront 5k. At the time, I raised $ 300 for Wellspring, a supportive community for people impacted by cancer. The run was fun and manageable. The event was also to do my Funky Sexy Manifesto #25 Raise Money for Cancer. The event was a lot of fun as well.


Also, I had run a half marathon in 2009. So my goal essentially this year was (and is) to run another half marathon. Given that I have trained for one in the past, I know how important it is to be prepared to run a half marathon and that training is essential. Rushing into training, increasing one's pace too quickly, and not taking a lot of things into account can cause injuries. Training for my half marathon in 2009 was a stop and re-start affair due to the fact that I kept getting injuries like: black toe, shin splints, and hip bursitis. None of those injuries was a walk in the park. As a result, I am in no rush to run the half marathon again. I know it's not the kind of event I can just start training for whenever the desire hits me. My experiences have been very painful lessons that have caused me to adopt certain practices which I will share in a future post. On top of it, I was in a car accident in February 2013, so stressing my body with hours of running each week for the half marathon I set my eyes on in May was not in the question. If I did the training to fast, I would have felt it. So instead, I changed my goal. I will run a series of shorter events in preparation for the half marathon this fall. After my accident, I stopped running for a month and I was concerned that I would not have enough training to run the 5km event in May either. But when one door closes, another one opens and for me this came in the result of an event of The Toronto Thyroid Cancer Awareness Run on Saturday, June 8, 2013 in High Park. Click here if you would like to find out more about Thyroid Cancer and the organizers Thyroid Cancer Canada. I will be running 10 kilometres in this event and I am so excited and pumped. I have re-started my training in April and I am well on my way of meeting my running goal. Please support me in this endeavour by either joining the run or donating today.

2012 Highlights

This past year has been full of many highlights for me. In the spirit of gratitude, I wish to list twelve of the best things that happened to me this year. I enjoyed sharing special moments and celebrating with my family and friends. 1) Getting married in Jamaica to my husband Adam This day was a dreamy one for me. So much about that moment was magical.

2) Returning to work full-time in my "dream assignment" teaching music I am back at my teaching job full-time. Over ten years ago, I had a dream in which I sat in a circle singing with young children on the carpet with my hair in dredlocks. Teaching continues to be a challenging endeavour for me. I am teaching my dream assignment-- early childhood music-- complete with dredlocks and sitting on the carpet. This aspect of my job is a lot of fun and it does not feel like work.

3) Moving to a new apartment Not quite an enjoyable process yet it has created a new energy and coziness that I am welcoming more and more into my life.

4) Taking a writing class in non-fiction writing for children I have taken other writing classes in recent years but this was a class I have been meaning to take for quite some time. This was a fun class and it lit a little fire under my ass to keep writing and try to get published. I learned how to write query letters, target publications, and select topics.

5) Joining the Heritage Singers I fell in love with Jamaican folk music as a child and I think that this admiration never left me. This year I got my "sing on" by joining the Heritage Singers, a Caribbean folk group founded in 1977. This past year, I got to perform

6) Celebrating my 35th birthday at AfroPunk It has always been a dream for me to attend the annual AfroPunk Festival in Brooklyn. This festival all started with an American documentary film called AfroPunk that came out in 2003 directed and produced by James Spooner. I had the pleasure of not only working with a film festival that screened his film but I organized my own screening at a my university campus. So when I found out that two of the headlining acts were Erykah Badu and Janelle Monae,

7) Being the Editor of TCC Newsletter I was pleased to be asked to be the editor of the Thyroid Cancer Canada Newsletter. I edited three issues: Spring 2012, Summer 2012, and Winter 2012-13 and wrote articles for three. It was a wonderful experience and I plan to continue writing for this publication from time to time however I have had to step down from the role of editor in order to devote more time to my writing.

8) Going to Cottage Dreams Thanks to some really generous cottage owners, my husband and I got to stay at a beautiful spot in Muskoka. Cottage Dreams is a program that helps "families touched by cancer reconnect and rejuvenate at a private, donated cottage". This experience was such a blessing for us and we are so grateful to the couple who gave this opportunity to us. It was like a Honeymoon #2. The five days were peaceful and serene and soothing for us as we enjoyed this lakeside cottage. We definitely wish to repeat this experience.

9) Illustrating a poster I enjoyed the process of illustrating for this poster and this cause. Drawing has always been one of my favourite hobbies and as I got older, I have less and less time to devote to it. However, there are times, when I can draw for ours on end. Earlier on this year when I was working part-time, I sought opportunities to earn income through my other talents. I am so thankful that I could use this talent and passion for a little bit of income.

10) Trying to run my food delivery business Another way I tried to earn some extra income was by running a short-lived vegan lunch delivery service. Well, maybe I was trying to run a prototype. I have grown to love cooking vegan dishes more and more. I have been toying with the idea of starting some sort of food business so when my friend in law school was requesting some healthier meal options, I took this opportunity to test out my "side hustle". I operated this business for two months and it was a lot of work. I found it challenging and fun but time consuming. In the end, I decided that for now, I will give my vegan cooking away for free.

11) Attend conferences and workshops I got the opportunity this year to attend some workshops to help me in my practice as a music and French teacher as well as a writer. I love school and learning opportunities so I was totally in my element.

12) Wedding blog My wedding blog has been fun to assemble and I have enjoyed sharing the planning phases and celebrations with friends and family. I plan to continue to add new posts in the future as I get "caught up" with all that has taken place in the past year.

Funky Sexy Manifesto # 23 Get Married

My husband and I decided that this year would be the year we get married. Two years ago when he proposed to me, I said, "Yes." Later that week, when I went to the doctor, she found a lump in my thyroid after a neck palpation. Perhaps in all of the excitement that week, I forgot to follow-up. I forgot to go to book an ultrasound on my neck. I forgot to take the lab requisition form to read it. I forgot the whole thing. In the fall of 2010, once I had the ultrasound and then the fine needle aspiration (FNA), my life changed. I became a thyroid cancer patient. All of the plans for a wedding in 2012 stopped and "everything" was put on hold as I navigated my way through the healthcare system, followed the treatment protocol, and focused on getting better. It didn't seem that the wedding could happen. However in January this year, we started to think again about having a 2012 wedding. In some respects, it seemed like a bad idea-- a short time to plan a wedding, very little money saved on our part since I was still working a part-time salary after being off of work for 7 months, and a busy schedule. Then there was the question of whether or not we were going to have a wedding here in Canada or our dream of a destination wedding in Jamaica. It took us about two months to decide if we could really do this. I particularly had fears that no one would show up to Jamaica on such short notice to attend our wedding and my dearest friends and family would not attend. With the help of our parents in March, we finally had our wedding date set and decided to move forward with our plans. I also realized that working part-time meant I had more time to plan the wedding of our dreams. Plus part of me didn't want to put off the wedding for another year since I didn't want to have a wedding in 2013. So on August 3, 2012, we got married with 67 of our friends and family in attendance. What a blessed occasion! It happened like a dream...

Funky Sexy Manifesto #33 Become an Illustrator

When I was a child, I had many dreams. One of my dreams was to be an artist. Luckily, I had a natural skill for drawing, crafts, and painting although as I got older I began to doubt the practicality of this skill and even my talent. Nevertheless, drawing came very easily to me. (I think this skill runs in my family since all of my siblings can draw.) I never felt anxious or inhibited when asked to draw something in art class since I felt very comfortable coming up with an image from my imagination or sketching a still life. I began creating my own picture books at the age of six. In fact, I felt more relaxed and in elementary school, I often asked the teacher if I could stay in at recess so that I could finish an art piece. Often my classmates said, "You are such a good draw-er" or "You're an artist." I entered my drawings and posters into contests and received honourable mentions. At the age of nine, I had the opportunity to paint a large mural of a picture I drew at the new wing constructions site at the Hospital for Sick Children. I even won the art award at my high school graduation. My middle sister and I both shared a love for art and would spend hours drawing together as children. As I got older, I spent less time with visual arts other than a few courses in high school. Art got pushed behind things like academics when I took more and more science and math courses, got involved in extra-curricular activities, and other ambitions. By the time I got to university, I rarely put my pencil to paper for drawing. (My sister however was smart and majored in art for a time in university.)

A few years ago, I began drawing characters, characters who had stories. I dreamt of doing a graphic novel and began to recover my dreams of being an artist. After creating several sketches, I enrolled in a community college course in Illustration. At first, I loved it. I was being exposed to so many techniques and materials but for the first time in my life, I was being seriously critiqued for my drawings and I wasn't the only "good drawer" in the class but surrounded by other artists. Although, I enjoyed the weekly assignments, I felt overwhelmed with the feedback and the intensity and I dropped the course. I have also participated in my own personal growth for years with a trained art therapist.

Fast forward a few years to 2011. Since my cancer diagnosis in late 2010, on several occasions throughout my journey, I have turned to the arts for inspiration. Not only writing, as you know, and music, but visual art. I created sketches and drawings and paintings in Art for Cancer workshops and on my own. I made thank you and birthday cards. In addition to my dream of writing books for young people, I wish to become an illustrator. I never had someone take me under their wing when it came to art or give me advice on how to make a living at it or even if my art was good enough to make a living at it. So I decided that this needed to be one of my Funky Sexy Manifestos, a survivor resolution. (It's never too late!)

So earlier this year, I had my first opportunity to get a professional (that is, paying) gig as a Illustrator. I was asked by the Spinlaw Organizing Committee to design a poster for the Spinlaw 2012 Conference: A Seat at the Table. (The conference is for law school students interested in social justice and it will take place on March 3rd, 2012 at the Faculty of Law, University of Toronto.) The poster features Lady Justice as a woman of colour, holding a scale with a Ma'at feather, seated at a big pink boardroom table surrounded by a wheelchair, an Ashanti seat, and Chinese and Middle Eastern chairs. Members of the committee presented their ideas and through our collaboration, problem solving, and discussed, we get the finished poster you see below. I loved this process-- envisioning, sketching, creating drafts, finding techniques, and seeing what works best. I know there will be other projects like this.



Then this weekend, I had my first opportunity to participate in an Art Exhibit thanks to Cid Palacio, the founder of the Art for Cancer Foundation who asked me to participate. The Art for Cancer Foundation is showcasing some of my art as well as that of other survivors and artists at the City Hall Rotunda in Toronto City Hall this week from February 17-24, 2012. This is a free event.



I will also sell some of my beautifully illustrated handmade cards on Friday, February 24th from 1-6pm. A portion of the proceeds from these sales will go to the Art for Cancer Foundation.

Funky Sexy Manifesto #57 Do a Speaking Gig Part 4

Recently in a conversation, I was asked the question:

"What does Black History Month mean to me?"

I responded by describing the historical significance of Black History Month and I why I acknowledge it today. There was a time when I rejected Black History Month since I felt that the celebration of the accomplishments of African-descended peoples should not be relegated solely to one month but throughout the year. As an educator and a citizen of this globe, I think that there is still an important role for Black History Month-- which is, that it does exist. Just because Black History Month exists for me every day of the year, does not mean it does for my fellow citizens in Canada and the globe. So what if delegating one month-- February-- (the shortest and coldest in Canada, although it has been mild) puts it on the radar for the rest of the country? So what if many teachers are now panicking and administrators are now scrambling to include Black history content in their schools, curricula, and lesson plans? So what if many Black artists, musicians, poets, writers, dancers, and motivational speakers are booked solid throughout February at a variety of engagements when their schedules remain empty at other times of the year? So what if my local bank is sponsoring a month long series of arts events which celebrate Black history? So what if other disenfranchised or marginalized groups such as Asian, Women, LGBTQ, Aboriginal/First Nations in Canada have followed the lead of Black people and also begun their own history/pride months? (Also some Black people may also fit into these aforementioned groups.) These are all good things, right? As long as we avoid tokenist observances, it is a start. I mean, when I attended elementary school in the 1980s there was no Black History month celebration, observance, or mention in my Canadian Catholic school and when I got to high school, it was thanks to my involvement in Black History groups in high school and mentors from the community that we organized celebrations. Not the administrators at the school mind you but the students with a few required teacher supervisors pursued this project. Consequently, I learned most of my knowledge about Black Canadian history on my own not in the school curriculum.

I am now realizing how far we have come in just ten years since we high school student activists who helped to place Black History on the map. However, as you can see, there is so much more growth necessary.

I was asked to talk about Black History month to my church congregation. At first, I was not sure if I should accept. I am not a Black history expert nor was I sure what the response would be if I delivered this sermon. Nevertheless, since I had placed #57 Do A Speaking Gig on my Funky Sexy Manifesto list, I accepted. Also I am a Black woman, living in Canada, and this identity probably more than any other (e.g., survivor, vegan, Christian) shapes my lived reality more than any other and so in this respect, I am an expert at being a racialized person and living a racialized reality. Plus, I have gotten to know many of the members over the last several years so I felt comfortable enough (accept for a few pre-speech jitters).

The writer in me leaped for joy. I loved writing this sermon. It took a lot of time to edit and I had to look up more details such as dates and places of birth. I started off wanting to connect the spiritual tradition of African peoples as an enduring source of strength for my ancestors to today but I am not an expert in that area and the words would not come. They sort of fizzled away. However, one verse in Psalms really stuck out to me:

The LORD builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the exiles of Israel.
Psalm 147:2

I immediately thought of the image of the Sankofa, an Adinkra symbol of a bird with its body facing forward but its head looking back. The Sankofa means we need to look back to move forward, a proverb I personally believe in which helps me to move forward.


According to the African American Studies website at the University of Illinois at Springfield, Sankofa in the Akan language is:
"se wo were fi na wosan kofa a yenki" which literally translated means "it is not taboo to go back and fetch what you forgot."
Or "We must go back and reclaim our past so we can move forward; so we understand why and how we came to be who we are today."They go on to say "whatever we have lost, forgotten, forgone, or been stripped of can be revived, reclaimed, preserved, and perpetuated."

After I finished telling the sermon and the service ended, I realized that there were two things that I forgot to mention. First, there are several other African influences that have remained with us, the descendants, in North and South America including rich spiritual tradition and orality. Second, I might have eliminated some details since the sermon was very much a history lesson and there was so much I wished to share. On the other hand, there was probably more I could have said about this topic but I will leave that up to you my audience to research or study on your own.

I was a little scared to listen to myself recorded as I have never done an mp3 before. My parents and my fiance sat amidst members of the audience. Once I was up there, I relaxed a bit more.

I will not say too much as I have linked the sermon below for your listening pleasure. (I do sing a in this sermon so this is a little bit of Funky Sexy Manifesto #83 Get My Voice Back.)

I have had a few reactions to the sermon which have mostly been positive. Many people thanked me for the history lesson. Others found it interesting. My mother said she learned a lot. My fiance thought my sermon was very Rasta. I am very curious to know what are your thoughts.

Click here to listen to the sermon. The sermon is called Sankofa: Looking Back to Move Forward.


I am standing with Minister, Martha ter Kuile.

Looking Ahead to 2012

I love new beginnings and I am excited by the start of another year. 2012 represents a fresh start. Although there were definitely many challenges in 2011, I am looking forward to moving beyond these into the new year.

Yesterday, on December 31st, I attended the funeral of a man who died from cancer. After four years of fighting metastatic colon cancer, he died early Christmas morning. He was the father of my sister's childhood best friend. As an adult, I reconnected with the family to some extent. I attended her wedding and she attended my sister's wedding. The younger sister of my sister's friend was the pianist at a church I was visiting for a few months. From what I know, he maintained good spirits throughout his illness. He also raised three successful women-- a doctor, a concert pianist, and an international development worker. I was immediately affected by the news of his death. Cancer has claimed the life of yet another person and it has impacted the life of so many others. My thoughts and prayers are with this family.

Cancer survivors are everywhere. I recognized a minister at the funeral and he introduced me to his wife. I had said, "Cancer is a beast. I was diagnosed last year."

"I'm a survivor too," she replied.

"We're everywhere," I agreed. We are even at this funeral.

"What kind? If you don't mind me asking..." she replied.

"Thyroid," I replied showing Meaty. For some reason, I have gotten into the habit of pointing to or revealing my scar when I talk about my diagnosis to someone new. It's never planned though and it's as if I was saying, 'I had cancer. Look! I have proof' or 'This is where the thyroid comes from.'

"Me too," she said. "You did the radiation and the isolation and...?"

"Yup," I said.

"How many years along are you?"

"It just happened this past year." She and a friend respond with gasped with expressions of sympathy.

She proceeded to tell me that it took her five years to recover from her thyroid cancer. "It affects you emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically." I totally understood what she meant. The thyroid is a tiny organ but it packs one hell of a punch. It is tied to so many functions that affect your well-being. Then she proceeded to tell me how she lost the fifty pounds she gained as a side effect of thyroid cancer.

This is her story and she felt compelled to share it with me in great detail. She finished by saying, "If you have any questions or need to talk, please call me." Her thyroid cancer journey was shaped by this experience. Unlike many thyroid cancer survivors, my weight gain has been minimal. Despite the fact that I have re-introduced exercise to my routine six months ago, my weight has not budged at all which is happens to many thy'ca survivors as well. But weight fluctuations or rigidity is only part of the cancer journey story.

The reality of the cancer journey is so multi-faceted. Cancer forces a person to face his or her own mortality as symbolized by the funeral, a physical transformation as in the thy'ca survivor's weight gain, and other challenges. Each person's cancer story is so individualized.

Stories are at the centre of our human existence. They are the reason why television shows and movies are so popular, books become bestsellers, ancient texts are so sacred, and our ancestors gathered in circles around a fire. In 2011, I have been so blessed to share my story to so many people. I have also heard many stories and I look forward to 2012, a year in which I hope to share even more stories through this blog, the Thyroid Cancer Canada quarterly newsletter as a new editor, articles, journal writing, and hopefully a book.

Kris Carr is someone I hope to interview for this blog. I feel that we are kindred spirits for a few reasons. After I started this blog in April, I was amazed to learn about her and see how much her cancer journey reminded me of my own. Second, she is also a Virgo, our birthdays are one week apart. Third, she wrote something that resonated with me in her most recent blog post :

I’m an artist at my core. I struggle, snuggle, protest, pound fists, open arms, break, yell, hide and fly. That’s how I expand. How do you wrangle that!? You don’t.

As I vowed this year not to create any New Year's resolutions (I am resolution-ed out, I already have my 100 Funky Sexy Manifesto Survivor Resolutions also known as FSM, for short), I have instead made a list of things I look forward to in 2012. Kris Carr says that a very "Virgo-esque" thing to do is to assign a resolution for each month. (Do my 10 goals in 90 days count?) This is the closest I come to New Year's resolutions. Here is to sharing them with you my readers.

2012 (Looking forward to it)

- Continue self-care as a top priority (sleep, exercise, eating well, meditation, yoga) (FSM)

- Write, write, write

- Visit prospective Master of Fine Arts (MFA) programs in Creative Writing and apply to the ones I like (FSM)

- Sell my car

- Embrace my new volunteer position as News Editor and Newsletter Committee Chair for Thyroid Cancer Canada (TCC)

- Sing in a Caribbean folk choir

- Spend more time with family

- Learn how to post videos and some podcasts on this blog

- Connect with more writers and opportunities to develop my writing (workshops, classes, retreats)

- Plan my wedding (FSM)

- Run in an event

- Do the Crazy Sexy 21-Day Cleanse (FSM)

- Complete one of my book ideas and send out queries to potential publishers (FSM)

- Be a better kindergarten teacher, writer, partner, sister, family member, and friend

- Move to a nicer, cheaper apartment (FSM)

- Worry less

- Introduce more raw foods on my vegan plate

- Run in an event (FSM)

- Forgive more (FSM)

- Do more speaking engagements (FSM)

- Be more assertive (FSM)

- Spend more time with nature

- Clean house (FSM)

- Budget better

- Read more books and see more movies (FSM)

- Incorporate the 7 principles of Kwanzaa (Nguzo Saba) into my everyday

I realize that putting all this out there, I am taking a bit of a risk. By sharing my vision with y'all, I am feeling a level of accountability for following through... although I must confess that I do have a tendency to overcommit. (I hope I didn't this time.) Also, some of the items on this list sound suspiciously like resolutions. Oh, what the heck? So what if there are some resolutions stuck in there. I have a great feeling about this year.

I wish you and your family a very happy, healthy, and blessed 2012. Happy New Year!!!

Funky Sexy Manifesto #57 Do a Speaking Gig Part 3

On October 22, 2011, I delivered a speech about the use of art through my cancer journey at the Art for Cancer Foundation fundraiser which was hosted by its founder, Cid Palacio. I have written about this organization on a few occasions including my participation in an Art for Cancer painting workshop. I am glad that I had the opportunity to give back through this speaking engagement.

Here is a video of the event:


The Nadia print from the Warrior Series




A fellow survivor Ray (acute lymphoblastic leukemia) also attended the event. It was so nice to spot his familiar face.

Funky Sexy Manifesto # 17 Read One Book Each Month

(This photograph of an African-American girl pictured is dated in the Construction period which is post-slavery. However this image reminds me of my mother in rural Jamaica, complete with plaits and ribbons in her hair almost one hundred years later.)


I love to read A-L-O-T. As a child, I remember reading books on summer vacations and March Break. My father would take my sister and I to our local library where we would load up on a weekly dose of books. Eventually, there was a Bookmobile (a library on wheels) that came to my neighbourhood and I would search it for great finds. I would often order books from other libraries too.

First, I had an obsession with reading books about countries and people from around the world. I loved to memorize facts, greetings, populations, flags, and capital cities. I loved atlases and maps. My parents had a few at home and I would use pencil and paper to copy facts and state capitals of the US.



As I approached my middle years, I started to read "The Little House on the Prairie" series by Laura Ingalls Wilder. I loved these stories of a pioneering frontier family living in the rugged Ozarks and other far off places. Through the books, I began to watch the television series that was popular in the 1970s and 1980s.


I also loved the show Reading Rainbow hosted by LeVar Burton.

LeVar Burton


In my younger years and throughout my teens into adulthood, I began to read books by mostly African-American writers. (Although, I read my share of Babysitters' Club, Sweet Valley High, and Judy Blume books.) I started to learn Caribbean songs and to read poetry and gritty urban fiction by Walter Dean Myers, Rosa Guy, and Rita Williams-Garcia. Then I graduated to Alice Walker, Toni Morrison, Terri MacMillan, Zora Neale Hurston, and bell hooks. I also loved magazines like Essence, Ebony, TBY (Today's Black Youth, now defunct), World and Owl (as a child), Ms., Seventeen, Shape, Self, and others.


I also had a number of phases in which I read everything I could possibly read on particular topics including The Guinness Book of World Records, trivia, the Titanic, the human body, psychology, African-American leaders and pioneers, slavery, the Underground Railroad, urban romance novels, the Jacksons, circus sideshows, biographies, relationships, creative non-fiction like Malcolm Gladwell, faith, and self-help books. Often I read books about my own culture and Black people because I learned nothing about it in school but longed to know more and see faces and experiences that were more closer to my own.





Most recently, as you can tell through my reviews, my reading has incorporated books on healing, Blackness, cancer, cooking, alternative health, animal rights, spirituality, and veganism.

When I made the Funky Sexy Manifesto #17 Read One Book Each Month resolution, I did not think it was possible to do given my busy schedule. Returning to work, a daily commute in my car, self-care, appointments, and other commitments seemed to make this resolution seem impossible. However, a change in the method of how I got to work made this a possibility.

A few weeks ago, I thought of selling my car which is getting on in years. Before finalizing this decision, I did a week-long trial run to depend on public transit, taking the bus and subway wherever I needed to go. I did that for week and found it to be quite comfortable. I got a lot of reading done that week-- 1 or 2 books, as well as editing a chapter of my novel.

Toronto's newest subways... I travel in style. (When I'm on this one, I feel like I'm in another city... like Tokyo, London, or even Paris.)


So when I went back to driving my car for one day, it felt quite odd. I immediately felt less relaxed and I did not get any reading done. For these and other reasons (like financial? yes, financial, no more traffic tickets, speeding tickets, wrong turn tickets, paid parking, insurance, repairs, Ughhh!!!), I think my decision became clear. Reading helps me to expand the knowledge and understanding of my healing journey. It helps me to feel more empowered as I deal with challenges in my life. I also learn a lot from books and I love to learn. Reading is a political act. Add this to the fact that I have no cable for my television (no channels), I'm selecting materials that engage and challenge me intellectually. Reading is also political since my enslaved African ancestors would have been severely punished for reading or being taught to read. As a result, many slaves taught themselves to read with a page from the Bible or were taught in secret by other literate slaves or compassionate White people.

By taking public transit, I could read a lot more than one book each month. In fact, I have read at least one book each week. (As of today, I have finished my sixth book, Race & Well-Being, in one month.) At no other time in my professional life have I read such a large number of works in such a short time. Time has always been in short supply and no more is that true than when I am working.

I am blessed to live now in an area of the city where I can access reliable transportation so I could focus on my reading and not being stranded. (Been there, done that.)


I am also blessed to have access to an excellent library system, The Toronto Public Libraries, which is the largest in Canada and the busiest in North America. I hope to write books one day that are equally as helpful, inspiring, and informative as the ones I have been reading.

Funky Sexy Manifesto # 60 Apply for my MFA, Part 1

Okay, okay, I must admit, I am a bit of an aficianado for school. I'm a self-confessed keener, better yet, nerd. I love school and learning so much, it is no wonder that I find myself today in the profession of teaching with 3 university degrees under my belt. Something, I love even more than being in front of the classroom and that is being on the other side. I love to be a student.

I also love to write. I feel that writing is my first language and if I were stuck on a deserted island and could only bring two things, they would be my journal and my pen. I began to illustrate and write picture books at the age of 7. I started keeping a journal at age 9 and now I have more than 30. At 10, one of my picture books was put on display at the head office of my school board. I began to write my first novel during the summer after grade 7. At my grade 8 graduation, I received awards for both Art and English. After conceptualizing a newspaper for years as a child, I wrote articles and an advice column in my high school newspaper and then continued in my college, university, and community publications. By an English teacher, I was encouraged to enter a playwriting competition for teens (which I lost) but I did direct one of my plays onstage in high school. At the age of 20, I completed an internship at Psychology Today magazine in New York. Throughout my illness, I have been writing faithfully in my journal and now to an audience of 32, 000+ through this blog. Last summer, I attended a writing retreat. I took a writing class two years ago as well as this fall. I write songs for my students to sing. Recently, I have also accepted a role as the new Thry'vors News Editor and Newsletter Committee Chair for Thyroid Cancer Canada. I live, eat, and breathe writing and at times in my life, I forgot that.

Throughout my healing journey, no matter how tired or drowsy I felt, I always mustered the energy to write. Writing is my release. I dive into new journals with such a voracity and passion that I forget the time, fatigue, my hunger, and pain. Many a time during my recovery, I found myself exhausted after writing a piece but not feel the fatigue during the act. Despite all of my artistic pursuits which include music and visual arts, writing has been the most honest and fearless means of expression for me. I am much more likely to "bare all" in my writing, exposing my words to audiences with boldness and comfort than in other areas of my life. My writing is a window into my soul.

So you may beg to ask, why did I not pursue writing professionally? I did not take it seriously enough, maybe. I did not think I was good enough, maybe. I did not know that I could make a living from writing or how to make a living from it. My immigrant parents encouraged me to follow more practical pursuits. I was a bit of a rebel for becoming a teacher and not a nurse as was expected. In fact, when I dated a writer for a time, I was asked by my mother, "Can you make a living at that?" I guess, God has other plans for me.

It has become quite clear to me that I wish to devote more time to perfecting my craft and fulfilling my childhood dream of writing books that get published.

In The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, Sharma describes people who are truly happy as those who find and work at their bliss. There is no doubt that my fiance's bliss is in music. Now I know I've found mine and it is definitely writing. I feel like I can not afford to waste any time but must pursue this dream.

So I decided to apply for a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing at the University of British Columbia. This program is ideal since it is an optional residency meaning that students can choose to attend the writing residency in Vancouver, British Columbia while the other components are instructed online. So the practical side of me would be really happy since I could continue teaching on the other side of the country while completing my MFA and I could do the residencies over the summer. Within a few weeks of making the decision to apply, I managed to gather my reference letters and documents, submit 3 samples of my writing to UBC, and pay all of those fees.

For the last few months, I have waited for a response and I finally received one this week.

I did not get in.

My first official rejection as a writer. (Now I can join the club of countless rejected writers.) I am not completely surprised by the outcome. I think that my application was a bit rushed and I could have spent more time editing the submissions. Ironically, I can tell you that this letter actually makes me want to apply to the program again (as well as others). The rejection letter is hopeful and full of promise and I do not feel discouraged by it but compelled to try again. The letter even has a type-O (it's December 10, 2011 not 2010) which tells me that "Hey, no one is perfect. Not even the Chair for the Creative Writing program who writes rejection letters." So maybe there is a chance for me at an MFA in Creative Writing. All jokes aside, I am so glad that I at least applied to this program ("good old college try") and maybe this is not the right time for me to do an MFA, but it will be my turn one day.

UBC Creative Writing
Optional-Residency MFA Program
December 10, 2010


Name: Blue Butterfly

Dear Blue:

I am writing to let you know that unfortunately we are unable to offer you a position in the 2012 UBC Optional-Residency MFA program. We are only able to accommodate a small percentage of the many applicants we receive each year. The quality of the applications is always high and faculty have to make some difficult decisions. We can usually only accept 20 to 25% of applicants each year.

I can tell you, however, that your portfolio made our shortlist this year. This list consists of approximately 40% of the applications received and manuscripts on the shortlist are those which our faculty feel have a great deal of promise. From this shortlist, the smaller acceptance list is generated.

Your application was read and evaluated with care by our faculty members. That being said, we do not pretend to be the final arbiter of what is excellent or successful writing. Evaluating writing is always a difficult, subjective process, and many writers who have been turned down by a publisher, institution or writing program have gone on to great success.

Our decision definitely does not close the door to another application at a later date, and indeed we encourage shortlisted students to reapply. Every writer grows by revising old work and writing new material. Should you wish to try again, we would welcome your application; to make this easier we will keep your transcripts and related application materials on file for one year.

We regret that we cannot provide individual students with information about why they were not accepted; it is not uncommon, however, that students with strong work in one genre but weaker work in other genres are not accepted – we do look in particular for ‘well-rounded’ portfolios and faculty from all our genres read the applications with this in mind.

Sincerely,

Chair
UBC Creative Writing

Funky Sexy Manifesto #27 Pull the Cancer Card

Okay folks, I never expected to resort to it but I pulled the cancer card. I know, I know... desperate situations call for desperate measures.

According to Kris Carr in Crazy Sexy Cancer Tips (which I review here), in Chapter 5 Go Ahead-- Use the Cancer Card, she writes:

"Though it sucks that you have cancer (and we're very sorry about that), membership to this ever-growing club does come with its perks. Your Cancer Card provides you with oodles of mileage points and has no expiration date. It's an I'm-human card, and like it or not you can't do it all; every now and then you need a treat."

Pulling the Cancer Card makes you "automatically become a VIP, top-priority client".

I need to rest. I have cancer.

Don't dump your garbage on me. I have cancer!

I regret to inform you that due to cancer, I will not be able to attend your party.

I can't come to work today. I have cancer (plus I'll miss Oprah).

I have to cut this conversation short (you toxic blabbermouth), I'm not feeling so hot. (A subtle way of saying The cancer is acting up.)

So this is how I used my Cancer Card. In May 2010, I was driving home from work and descended a hill... I was going about 20 km over the speed limit. I instantly was stopped by a police officer and summoned onto a side street. (And no, he wasn't as cute as the officer in this photo. Mm...hmm...) What could I say? Yes, I know cars tend to accelerate as they go down a hill but there was no excuse. I was caught red-handed.

I wished to challenge the ticket in court and was given a court date sometime around March 2011.

Then along came cancer.

Receiving my diagnosis in November 2010 and surgery January 2011, it seemed that I didn't know that I had missed my court date until the night before my radioactive iodine (RAI) in April 2011 when I read that my license had been suspended for failure to appear. Read about this here.

After four days in RAI, I went to the municipal court offices to explain that I missed my date and the reason I provided was: cancer treatment.

Well technically, I wasn't receiving any treatment other than recovering from surgery and "being hypo" which is basically like intoxicated for a period extending two weeks... I felt exhausted, "out of it", and frankly logistics like going to traffic court was not even on the radar.

But something interesting happened. It seemed that when I said cancer, I was excused immediately and given a new court date. I asked if the administrators and officials wished to see medical documents or any proof of my cancer but they said "no". They didn't even mind. I was impressed that the "cancer card" worked. I felt so elated that I did not let the assh*le who was heckling me in line for "taking too long" to speak to the staff bother me. (Okay maybe, he bothered me a little. At least I didn't leave without "greeting him" with a few "celebratory" words of my own.)

So the postponed court date was yesterday.

I stood in the courtroom, probably the youngest in attendance. There were a lot more men than women and some who reminded me of my dad.

I was the second defendant called to the front and I was going to "plead to a lesser charge" (I have had some practice at traffic court before). However, I don't know the court terminology, the bailiff (?), an assertive woman wearing a hijab (I love it), said that the officer was not in attendance so I was acquitted. I was free to leave. No charge.

Yippeee!!!!

A Black man in the courtroom gave me "the nod". I grinned and nodded right back.

I love when the court justice system works.

For another court case of a different matter, click here.

By the way, I'm not endorsing speeding.