Too Young to Die

I was in a funk today (translation: sad) and set up my playlist of Jamiroquai songs. When "Too Young to Die" came up, I immediately thought of Julie Devenny whose funeral is today. The song is a protest against politicians sending young men and women out to fight in the military to die for their country. This is a perfect analogy for fighting the "war of cancer". Each year, over 7, 000 people are diagnosed with cancer in Canada. The cancer death rates for many age groups have decreased but this is not the case for young adults which have remained the same since the 1970s.

She battled breast cancer for five years. I shared a train ride with Julie and Bonnie from the Young Adult Cancer (YACC) Conference in Ottawa last November. Julie was so vibrant, outgoing, and looked like she had a lot more living to do. She died too early at the age of 30. At the conference, Julie was always laughing and joking around and, me being a bit of an introvert that weekend, was more quiet and withdrawn. Yet during our train ride, I got to chat with her and learn about her. I saw Julie's quieter side. Julie's cancer was stage 4. I remember she said that she first found out she had breast cancer after graduation. When she finished her first bout of cancer and was deemed "in remission", she dived into her career as a physiotherapist. She loved her job and worked hard at it but had to leave it once again when she was rediagnosed with stage 4. Julie did not look sick by any means.

Julie's obituary photo. To read Julie Devenny's obituary, please click here.


Julie on the court playing for the University of Waterloo. Coincidentally, I was a student here too but never met Julie at the time.


Less than a week prior to Julie's passing, Andréanne Arcand, who also attended the YACC Conference passed away. I got to know Andréanne during the conference well because she was in my small group. I was intrigued by her peaceful nature and also her spiritual experience with Peruvian shamans. Andréanne had a form salivary cancer. Although her tumours and surgery scars were visible on her face and arms, she was radiantly beautiful. She was selfless and I remember her saying that she was glad that the suffering she was going through was happening to her and not a family member. I could not imagine what it must be like to be at stage 4. I asked Andréanne what she focused on in life. She told me she focused on spending time with her family and friends and living.

Andréanne Arcand, to read her obituary click here


And just a few short weeks prior to Andréanne, Adam Cardinal, another YACC Conference participant, passed away. I don't remember talking to or interacting with Adam but the only memory I think I have of him is sitting in front on the bench in front of the hotel, alone. Was it Adam Cardinal, I saw sitting there, smoking a cigarette? Did I say hello? I don't remember.

Adam Cardinal, to read his YACC profile click here


When I learned about the news that three survivors passed away, I gradually felt numbness, guilt, and some anxiety and disgust. How could this be? I felt a hurt feeling in my heart. I felt worried. How much time do all of the sick people I know have?

When I found out about Andréanne, I went back through my e-mails. I recall e-mailing her. This is what I wrote:


November 9, 2011Blue Butterfly
It was really a pleasure to meet you. I hope you're sleeping in your own bed tonight and out of the hospital. My hope is that your health is stable.

November 9, 2011Andreanne A
Thank you. Yes I am back home since Monday night and it feels great to be able to sleep in my own bed.
It was great meeting you too!

Is that all I wrote?

I became increasingly aware of how limited the time is for many cancer survivors. I think of all of the sick people I know and I felt guilty. Guilty about the fact that I have actually begun to forget that I had cancer at times. Felt guilty about doing things like planning my wedding, putting a deposit on my gown, and nursing an eye infection. I get to celebrate and get stronger and healthier while others get sicker.

But now (as I write this on Thursday), I realize that all of these experiences, it is all life. Life.

Andréanne's words meant she was focusing on life.

On Saturday, I mourned a bit for Julie at home. I mourned for sick survivors. I also mourned the part of me that obsesses and worries, wasting precious time. So I danced when I heard all of my Jamiroquai tunes and from this dance, I felt my mood lift. There is so much living to do.

I cherish the lives of these three young adult cancer survivors who each touched my life in different ways. They were all too young to die and have not experienced many of life's triumphs like getting married, having children, realizing dreams, buying a home, growing old, and many other dreams. May they continue to live on among those who knew and loved them.

Adios Endo #4, Ola Endo #5

I have a new endocrinologist who I will call Endo #5. What do you get when you add a Snoop Dogg video with a Chanel No. 5 commercial?

WARNING: This is not the radio version. This video contains explicit lyrics

Gin & Juice by Snoop Dogg
There is a lyric in the song about smoking endo. Although endo is a slang reference for marijuana, this is not what I am referring to here. I am referring to an endocrinologist but if I really meant actually "smoking an endo", I would definitely end up in jail and need to get endo #6. (Smoking also refers to shooting with a gun.)

+


Chanel No. 5 Commercial

=

Endo #5

Okay, okay not quite.

I said a quiet goodbye to my Endo #4 in December. He asked why and I told him that the new Endo #5 has a specialty in dealing with Thyroid Cancer. I thought I would hurt Endo #4's feelings. Instead Endo #4 knew Endo #5 and seemed pleased. (I guess the Endo community is pretty small.) What I didn't tell Endo #4 is that Endo #5 is highly recommended by another thy'ca survivor, takes my questions seriously, and well-researched.

So I went to see Endo #5 this week for the first time. The first appointment was long (more than one hour long). Endo #5 is very meticulous and had an intern who between the two of them asked me several questions and wrote up a summary about me. (Endo #4 did not do that for me even when I was transferred to his care days before my radiation.) Since I switched my dose of Synthroid to .112, Endo #5 recommended another two blood tests-- one in April and one the same day, which would have been my third bloodtest in January. Endo #5 was also the one who told me that my surgery pathology results were amended (which meant that the report was revised) since she ordered a copy for herself. Endo #5 told me that my parathyroid glands are probably a little faulty so I got to take Vitamin D on a regular basis. Endo #5 also said I needed a neck scan and also a scanning dose of iodine when Thyrogen is available. I like Endo #5 who is thorough, listens and values my questions, and gains my confidence. Endo #5 is much easier to talk to than Endo #4. Since my relationship with my Endo will be a lifelong one, we got to be a team!!! That shit gotta' be tight. (I've been reading a lot of urban young adult lit lately.)

Now Endo #5 is part of my healthcare team which consists of:
- an endocrinologist
- a counsellor
- an optometrist
- a dermatologist
- a podiatrist
- a dentist
- an otolaryngologist (ear, nose, and throat surgeon)
- a naturopath
- an acupuncturist
- a medical doctor
- a radiologist
- an allergist

Do my hairstylist and mani-/pedicurists count too?

Alright

Alright by Jamiroquai
(I'm a big Jamiroquai fan!!!)

As a follow-up to my last post Things Fall Apart, I got a phone call from the "vigilant" doctor at the walk-in clinic to tell me that my white blood cell and calcium levels returned to normal.

Phew! What an experience! I will continue to follow through with medical tests and follow-up but the critical part is over and now I feel relief. I think the worst thing about it was how quickly I went into panic mode once I saw the doctor. I did not anticipate that. The panic and fear felt debilitating and it hindered me from moving forward. Between my prayers, I found myself thinking about "worst case scenarios". I am glad that is over.

In response to that post, I had a few helpful comments through my facebook friends. My cousin wrote:

u do what u have to do to keep healthy Blue Butterfly. one day my english teacher did an experiment. he asked each person in my class whats their health issue. at first people were like saying benign things like headache or knee pain but aftee a few answers like this people started being real. all of a sudden people were reeling off the various health conditions they suffer from. many were quite serious. what did this tell us? when u think that u r the only one who is seeing doctors and getting tests...u r not. i found it enlightening to remember we all have issues and that its important to remember that those issues do not define us. u r Blue Butterfly and this is just one of the many things that tell the story of ur life.

I thanked her for this comment as it reminded me to put all of this including my cancer experience into perspective. I can and will move beyond this and other experiences. I am not only a "cancer survivor" or a person who gets sick every once in a while, I am a person, wholly human, and like all people, I have issues. I do no need to let "those issues" define me. Thank you Marsha for your words.

Another response came from a fellow cancer survivor Jen:

This sounds very much like post traumatic stress....I have a history of it and was reading up on it a bit more today, trying to familiarize myself with the irritability and my reactions to things - hypersensitivity. Having been through a life threatening illness, it's generally quite a usual reaction to anything that could possibly be. Even five years out now, I'm still paranoid and do my best to write about it, talk about it and am going to book an appointment for professional advice on how to move forward. I hope all goes well with you Nadia. This sounds so much like my search for the "hidden illness" for the first three years post-treatment. Once I came to the acceptance that this was just going to be life and that I needn't frighten myself so much about the little stuff, I found a lot of it went away, or I just didn't notice it as much.

Given my background(I completed my undergraduate degree in Honour's psychology), I was familiar with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I studied it and knew that it can often affect victims of war, veterans and retired soldiers, rape victims, or anyone who has experienced a traumatic event. Wikipedia defines post-traumatic stress disorder as:

a severe anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to any event that results in psychological trauma.[1][2][3] This event may involve the threat of death to oneself or to someone else, or to one's own or someone else's physical, sexual, or psychological integrity,[1] overwhelming the individual's ability to cope. As an effect of psychological trauma, PTSD is less frequent and more enduring than the more commonly seen acute stress response. Diagnostic symptoms for PTSD include re-experiencing the original trauma(s) through flashbacks or nightmares, avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma, and increased arousal—such as difficulty falling or staying asleep, anger, and hypervigilance. Formal diagnostic criteria (both DSM-IV-TR and ICD-10) require that the symptoms last more than one month and cause significant impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.[1]

I have learned recently from my readings that PTSD also affects cancer survivors. When I had this health scare, I found myself saying, "Not again." I also relived those weeks and months of not knowing and feeling anxious as tests were administered. Knowing about PTSD did not prevent me from feeling so anxious or my fears from seeming so real.

How did I cope with this situation?

Prayer, meditation, conversations with friends and family, sleeping, and writing. I tried my best to do other things like reading, cooking, and yoga which are all activities I found to be therapeutic. I also spent time with my fiance. By following the doctor's instructions and taking proactive steps to heal myself (eating more vegetables and fruits, napping, vitamins), I think this helped me to "hold it together". I will be alright.

I was asked recently through a family member why am I putting all my business on the internet?

That is an excellent question. After the Things Fall Apart post, I thought about taking it down since it was so personal. However I do feel that it is part of my healing journey and if there is anything that come of it to help another person out, then it is worth it. Plus, I am still grappling with the psychological impact of having had cancer. There is not a lot of information about survivorship especially after thyroid cancer. I hope to expand this body of knowledge.

I am living my life.

Things Fall Apart

"You Got Me" by the Roots featuring Erykah Badu and Eve
from the Things Fall Apart album

I titled this post Things Fall Apart which is also the name of the Roots' 1999 album and a 1958 English language novel by Nigerian writer Chinhua Achebe. I listened to the album during my recent trip and I read the book years ago. Maybe the title is a little melodramatic for this post but it aptly describes how I felt this week. Feeling sick really affects me in far reaching ways.





This will probably be one of the hardest blog posts to write perhaps since I feel in a bit of a raw, negative space. One of the things that I find hardest about life post-cancer, AD (after diagnosis) is just living and not being alarmed any time you get sick. For example, when is a cold, just a cold? When is a stomach ache, just a stomach ache? Will anything ever feel normal or will I always need to be hyper-vigilant about ailment or sniffle? Do I need to "bubble wrap" my life and avoid every potential contaminant like the plague? When healthy proactive vigilance cross over into fearful paranoia?

Recently, I returned home from a brief, cheap star-studded action-packed trip to the Big Apple and Boston. This had been a trip that I planned for a while and I was a little nervous that it wouldn't happen especially considering my recent financial woes but journey I did. I got cheap tickets ($40 to NYC, $18 to Boston) for travel on Greyhound chartered services and some generous family members. I got to visit vegan restaurants, spend time with my "terrible two" one-year old nephew, see a star-studded version of Porgy and Bess on Broadway, and see one of my prospective MFA in Creative Writing programs. It was a busy, eventful few days with lots of time writing, editing, listening to music (the Roots, Erykah Badu), chatting with strangers, and sleeping while logging hundreds of miles in a few days.

Near the end of my trip, I had a very uncomfortable feeling in my stomach which resulted in a total loss of appetite followed by stomach pains. I didn't feel like eating anything and when I tried, I felt full right away and had this dull pain. I arrived home in Canada, having eaten very little but tried to eat some left over rice and peas, plantains, and steamed cabbage from a Jamaican restaurant in Boston. Still pain. Feeling a bit tired and frazzled, I went to work the next day, attributing how I was feeling to traveling for 18 hours on a bus within a 30 hour period.

As the days progressed, I continued to feel the lack of appetite and pain that accompanied eating anything including a smoothie, a slice of pizza, and so I stuck to soups and salads. I also continued to feel fatigue and continued to think it was from returning from my trip. Along with these symptoms, I had begun feeling tingling in my hands and feet.

When a colleague told me about how Telehealth (an information line in Ontario staffed around the clock by registered nurses who could provide medical advice), informed her to take a cousin to the hospital for gall bladder issues, I decided that I needed to give it a try. At 10:30pm, I spoke with a nurse who assessed my situation and told me to see my doctor within 24 hours and if I could not get an appointment, go to a walk-in clinic.

I went to the clinic. I was hoping that the doctor might say I caught a virus or had food poisoning or "it will pass", nothing that a little Pepto or Alka Seltzer can't fix. You know, the slightly apathetic, jaded doc who has "seen it all". Instead, I got a "fresh out of med school", pretty blonde physician who asked me several questions. She ordered a whole slew of tests. I walked out of the office a bit nervous, a bit depressed... among the questions she asked me about a family history of stomach or colon cancer. I know, I know... she needs to ask these kinds of questions. It's part of the protocol but I was terrified, for the first time. A feeling of gloom overtook me and I felt defeated. I have so many goals for this year laid out and I even made good headway on my 90-day goals. I am a woman with a plan. "I don't need this right now."

So, I did the blood test, booked the other appointments, began at-home sample taking,... everything to get to the bottom of this mystery illness. I forgot to mention that I had similar stomach pains a few weeks ago in December as well. I am to stay away from spicy food, caffeine, and increase my B12 since the tingling was probably attributed to it.

I tend to be a bit of a worry wort. I went from Dr. Google to Dr. Jesus, education and prayer. I searched all kinds of possibilities. I called my fiance and told him what happened. I had trouble sleeping.

So then the next day, the very next day, I get a call from the doctor which is lightning speed when you consider the slow pace of the Canadian healthcare system. This phone call can also mean something is wrong. I tried to relax although my fellow cancer buddies shared many a story of getting the call. I'm sure folks with other conditions can relate.

Oh, my B12. I knew it. I forgot to replace that finished bottle. D'uh! Every good vegan knows how essential is B12.


Not my B12? My B12 is actually normal?

Something else is off.

My calcium level dropped. This is strange to me since I have the "little parathyroid that could". After my three parathyroid glands were removed during my total thyroidectomy last year, my one remaining parathyroid was reimplanted causing it to be "stunned" resulting in extremely low levels of calcium in my blood. As a result, I had a longer hospital stay, had to take calcium intravenously, and was monitored with frequent blood tests. After four days, my calcium levels artificially got to a level that was normal enough for me to return home with a ton of calcium supplements and Rocaltrol. After taking these high regimented doses for two months, my little parathyroid began to work and regulate the calcium levels on its own.

However, on the phone, the doctor said the hand tingling I had been experiencing was caused by the low calcium level. She said I would now need to take a high dose of calcium once again.

There was another problem. My neutrophils are low. In fact, since last year they have been a little on the low side but have gradually dropped since then. Low neutrophils are not unusual in Black women. It's called African Neutropenia (sounds kind of exotic). Also, a drop in neutrophils can be attributed to chemotherapy and/or fighting off a virus. Although, I woke up with the sniffles and a slight sore throat, the doctor said that I needed to watch every symptom carefully. Almost anxiously, she said if certain things happen, I should go to emergency. In addition, I have to do a bunch more blood work and other tests to find out the reasons behind this mysterious condition.

No doubt, I am nervous that once again, I am going through tests, being poked and prodded, and shuttled from one doctor to the next. Perhaps naively, I thought that chapter of blood tests and prognoses was behind me, in my past. However on the other hand, I am relieved that I found such a knowledgeable and resourceful doc at a walk-in clinic who took my concerns seriously and did not just write them off as I have experienced with Endo #4. (By the way, I am leaving Endo #4 and will start seeing Endo #5 who was recommended to me by another Thy'Ca survivor. I have also met Endo #5 who is very informed. Can't wait!)

I guess my laptop was having sympathetic pains too since it has for the first time needed repairs and is in the shop for up to three weeks. It will need some parts replaced and with it gone, I feel like a piece of me was taken away. I never realized how much my laptop meant to me and how much I relied on it to connect with the outside world, express myself, and be entertained. In the meantime, I am relying on my fiance's older, clunkier, slower old-school laptop and old-fashioned pen and paper to record my thoughts. I have also been reading a lot of interesting stuff.

I feel a bit like the wind has been taken out of my sails. I looked forward to taking 2012 by storm. The new year shined brightly with the hopes of a fresh start and renewal but I've just hit a "snag", a big one. I did not expect my first few weeks of the new year to be shadowed with sickness, doctor visits, and lab tests. I really don't need to be sick right now. But, who does?

I will keep you in the loop.

Wha Me Eat

British-born of Jamaican parents, Macka B is a reggae artist, performer, activist, and fellow vegan. More specifically, he follows a strict Rastafarian Ital deit. I love his fun roots reggae tunes especially this one, Wha Me Eat. I think should be my new anthem.

The Comfort Zone (Vegan Photo Album 6)

Remember this one by Vanessa Williams? The Comfort Zone


I decided that the final vegan photo album of 2011 would feature some tasty comfort foods. I learned today that Canadians eat more macaroni and cheese than anyone else. Sadly, there will be no macaroni and cheese in this photo album but if you are so inclined, you may check out some hot pics of macaroni cheese and macaroni pie. You will find lots and lots of comfort foods like slow cooker stews (thank God for this appliance), chocolate chip cookies, brownies, pizza, lasagna, and Shepherd's pie. These dishes are completely perfect for filling tummies and keeping you warm on a chilly night. (This post was a bit challenging as I had some difficulty uploading photos. Unfortunately there were some photos I just could not access however all of the delicious meals are here.)

Southern Fried Tofu, Yam Sweet Yam, and Crispy Fried Cauliflower from The Vegan Soulfood Guide to the Galaxy by Afya Ibomu
I have to admit, I went a little crazy with this dish. I was craving some deep fried breaded goodness and Afya knows how to do it up well. The southern fried tofu was good but I do not like how the colour came out. I am thinking this was attributed to frying the cauliflower first and then using the same oil to fry the tofu afterward. The same oil! Not such a great idea. When you use fried oil, it quickly becomes cloudy and full of debris (i.e., pieces of flour, crispy bits that start to burn). I did love the cauliflower however which was not crispy but definitely tasty. The candied sweet potatoes aka Yam Sweet Yams were scrumptious, sweet, and so tasty. Since I grew up with Jamaican cuisine and ate my share of yams (e.g., negro, yellow), I know that there is a distinct difference between these and sweet potatoes. Yams tend to be more bitter and vary in texture.



Moroccan-Inspired Lentil Stew from Vegan on the Cheap by Robin Robertson
Mmmm... a lovely combination of sweet and sour and spicy from the plump sultana raisins, dried fruit and cinnamon, tangy apple juice, and cayenne. What a lovely tasty dish!




Big Stick Pepperoni from Vegan on the Cheap by Robin Robertson
Who knew that you could still eat pepperoni as a vegan? I must admit that I was very doubtful about this dish and avoided making pepperoni for a long time. I thought the recipe would take a long time, be extremely complicated, and produce mediocre results. Thankfully, I was sadly mistaken. Sadly... and happily, I re-discovered pepperoni. The spicy and licorice-y taste combined with the tough fibrous texture of pepperoni can be achieved without meat. Liquid smoke, fennel seeds, and pepper (cayenne, crushed red pepper, black pepper) can all take the credit. I loved opening the foil and finding fully formed pepperoni sticks. It is possible!!!




Sauxsage Pizza and Pizza Dough Crust from Vegan Soulfood Guide to the Galaxy by Afya Ibomu
I made this dish completely from scratch except I used Black Bean veggie patties cut up for the "sauxsage". It was very tasty and meaty and of course, I can't forget the Daiya cheese.









Torta Rustica from Vegan on the Cheap by Robin Robertson
This dish was very, very labour intensive. First of all, it called for 1 recipe of Double Pie Crust. As a result, you can find actual holes in the seams of the "torta" or pie and on the sides and it was really thin at places. (It burst from its seams.) Since I used a springform pan to bake the pie, I would definitely use 2 recipes of Double Pie Crust in the future. The pie was savoury, mild in flavour, and very tomato-y. It's the type of meal which could use A-LOT of hot sauce on top. This dish contained the Big Stick pepperoni but you could barely taste it.












Smoky Red Bean Chili with Chipotle-Cornbread Dumplings from Vegan on the Cheap by Robin Robertson
This very interesting stew was made by capitalizing on the smoky nature of chipotle and liquid smoke. The cornbread dumplings were a nice added touch. Having grown up eating Jamaican soups on Saturdays, the dumplings were always my favourite part of the dish like little floating presents bobbing along in my bowl. This dish was conveniently made in the slow-cooker which I love. Just chop up the ingredients, add the spices and stock, then I go to sleep and wake up to a lovely meal.









Deluxe Vegetable Lasagna from Vegan On the Cheap by Robin Robertson
This lasagna was unique in that I used both the recommended Cauliflower topping (which simulated cheese) plus actual Daiya cheese. It tasted pretty good and mild in flavour but again required a good measure of hot sauce. Hot sauce brings out the flavour where it's lacking in my books.













Three Spicy Sisters Stew from Vegan On the Cheap from Robin Robertson
This was a very natural and healthy tasting dish. It just made me think of the harvest and autumn. The three "sisters" are corn, beans, and squash in many Aboriginal traditions. This is a perfect, lazy slow cooker meal!!!




Chocolate Chip Cookies from Farm Sanctuary by Gene Baur
I did not expect to find a chocolate chip cookie recipe in a book about animal rights but that I did. The dough in this recipe was a lot drier than I experienced in making other cookie recipes. Even when I baked them and took one bite, I noticed two things. First, there was a drier and more crumbly texture. Second, a huge burst of chocolate thanks to tasty fairtrade Camino chips.










More Pizza with store-bought crust from Vegan Soulfood Guide to the Galaxy by Afya Ibomu
Here is where I put the Big Stick Pepperoni to the test by seeing if it tastes good on pizza. It does!!!! I used a store bought dough to prepare the crust which saved me loads of time. Unfortunately, I waited a long time to use it and the dough got a bit dry and lost some of its elasticity. I need some help from my fiance to get the crust to lie flat.









Pumpkin Spice Cake with Chocolate Glaze from Vegan On the Cheap by Robin Robertson
I couldn't wait to make this cake. I love me some pumpkin and I thought my co-workers would too. i decided to prepare this cake for my staff holiday social. So I proceeded to make the cake on one day to allow it to cool. Then I made the chocolate glaze on the following day to place on the cake. It looked good so far. Never, I mean never, bake a cake you must transport in a springform pan. As I lifted the pan into the bag, I held the bottom which sprang up, launching the cake into the air and flipped over, face down onto the floor. I screamed and wailed, near tears. My first instinct was to pick it up quickly and use the ten second rule which is if it is on the floor shorter than ten seconds, it is still okay and not dirty. This logic may have worked when I was six but not when I am in my thirties preparing a dish for my co-workers. So, I sadly picked up the cake which had broken in two pieces and actually pulled out my spoon. I am so embarrassed to say that I did the unthinkable. I took my spoon and ate mouthfuls of the cake that fell on the floor. Logic did not come into my mind. I had to taste this cake. I didn't think about when was the last time I mopped the kitchen floor or the occasions my fiance and I wore shoes in the kitchen or the fact that we have two cats who run throughout the house and shed like crazy. Yuck! I'm becoming disgusted thinking about it. (I'm quite a germaphobe.) So my judgment was clouded and I took a few bites of the cake which featured stellar icing but a slight dry tasteless pumpkin texture. The cake was not pumpkin-y. Unfortunately, I was asleep by the time my fiance came home and what he thought was my lovely cake. He had a piece without any thought and it was not until a few days later when he found out that he had eaten a whole piece of the ill-fallen cake. Eventually, when my senses reached me, I decided to dispose of this broken cake. Thankfully, we did not catch any illnesses or disease from this cake. So I guess the 10 Second Rule still works.



The broken pathetic cake was transferred quickly to a pan covered with patty crumbs. (Thankfully I had also made Jamaican beef patties from Caribbean Vegan for my staff holiday social. I redeemed my culinary skills)

Marcus, my cat, is curious about the chocolate glaze on the floor.




Tempeh Pot au Feu from Vegan On the Cheap by Robin Robertson





Walnut-Crusted Seitan with Spinach and Orange from Vegan On the Cheap by Robin Robertson
This dish rocks!!!! The crust was delectable and on the seitan it reminded me of eating breaded chicken. The dish was originally designed for tofu but I've been trying to cutdown on soy products so seitan was perfect and worked well. Unfortunately, some of the photographs of the finished product did not come out. So just picture the seitan on top of the spinach and orange served on top of brown rice.










Smoky Southwest Sweet Potato Shepherd's Pie from <span style="font-weight:bold;">Vegan On the Cheap by Robin Robertson
Warm and cozy and tasty. I could not find any black beans so I used red kidney beans instead which I know lend to a southwest flavour. This dish was very spicy and did not require any hot sauce at all. The sweet potato topping was warm, creamy, and sweet-- a perfect comfort dish.








Carob Brownies Square from Vegan Soulfood Guide to the Galaxy by Afya Ibomu
I love carob in small increments and I can never eat too much of it. Carob is a good substitute for chocolate since it is not as heavy or filling or calorie-rich however since I eat more of it. There was a time when I ate so much carob that I could barely look at it again. So I was a little hesitant to use carob for a brownie recipe. The result? Amazing!!! These brownies were very sweet and had the same texture as the chocolate variety but were much lighter. (So you eat more and do not feel as full.) I served these brownies with soy- and coconut-based ice creams at Christmas eve dinner with my fiance and mother-in-law. When making this dish, I ran short of maple syrup so I substituted with agave nectar.








Spinach Pie from Vegan On the Cheap by Robin Robertson
I could not make this dish. I love spanikopita which is a Greek spinach pie. The key to the perfect spinach pie is the crust and feta cheese inside. My Spinach Pie turned out picture perfect. I used 1/2 the Double Crust recipe which was sufficient and turned out light and perfect. (This does not always happen when making a crust.) The only imperfection were the mushrooms. I had them stored in paper bags for the first time and they dried out completely. So to compensate, I used frozen spinach that was not thawed or dried to lend its moisture. (The spinach came in nuggets. I've never seen this before.) I also added a little water to the spinach-mushroom mixture which helped. Nevertheless, the mushrooms added a chewy texture. The cheese was achieved with cashews, tofu, soy milk, nutritional yeast, and mustard. The final dish was warm, tasty, and so satisfying. The saltiness was perfect and reminded me of feta.