Jaunt in St. John's

Since I booked my plane ticket so close to the date of departure, the prices to fly had skyrocketed. The ticket that would have once cost me $ 650 was now about $ 1900 if I were to fly out of Deer Lake. So the best price for us last minute folk was to drive from Deer Lake to St. John's and fly back to Toronto from there. In order to do that, I had to spend a night in St. John's. Luckily, I had company. Christina, another retreat participant, also was flying back to Toronto on the same flight. Karine and Angie, organisers of the Young Adult Cancer Canada (YACC) retreat, drove us to St. John's. (YACC is based in St. John's.)


No beating around the bush here. (The church was called Miracle Temple.) This was spotted on our road trip from Deer Lake to St. John's. The trip was 637 km long and took us about 10 hours in total including all of the stops. We drove on Highway 1 TransCanada Highway.


Quidi Vidi (pronounced Kiddie Viddie) Lake


Christina and I in front of the lake.


Me in front of Quidi Vidi Lake.


The actual site of Quidi Vidi (old fishing village) reminded me of Jamaica. Although it feels "closed in" and secluded, it is part of the provincial capital of St. John's.


Quidi Vidi.


We finally arrive at the HI (Hostelling International)- St. John's City Hostel. I've stayed at hostels all across Canada when I was running my festival years ago. HI-Hostels are clean, simple, and much cheaper than a hotel.


The steep hills of the streets in St. John's, Newfoundland.


Yes, those are stairs on the sidewalk to go up the hill.


The Sprout. Only the premiere one and only vegetarian/vegan restaurant in St. John's. As soon as I knew I was coming to Newfoundland, I looked up the veggie restaurants on the internet.


Christina and I are so happy to finally get a seat after waiting for 30 minutes. But it was worth it since we got to sit right at the front in the sunshine.


Sipping my precious green tea.


My beautiful meal of vegan Shepherd pie and green salad.


Christina had mango juice with mineral water and miso noodle soup with rice crackers.


Mmmmm... once I talked to the St. John's guys who sat beside us, one was so generous enough to let me sample the dessert from his plate. I quickly changed my original choice (Chocolate cashew cake) to a spicy brownie which I'm eating here.


Beloved spicy brownie. I kept asking the staff about the secret ingredient. There was crushed pepper on the brownie but there was this irresistible toffee taste to the brownie itself and the chocolate was not too bitter or overwhelming.


Proof that Jamaicans can be found everywhere!


Piatto was where I had my cheeseless pizza the night before.


Beautiful art that pays tribute to the early settlers and the fishing industry.


The first of many stops at St. John's souvenir shops. The Tickle Trunk is the name of Mr. Dress Up's costume trunk. (If you grew up on Canadian television, you'll get the reference to the CBC show "Mr. Dress Up".) Sorry to say, I didn't see an actual tickle trunk there.


Down Home souvenir shop.


There were these bricks that had names of different people embedded in the sidewalk. A walk of fame? No, more like a memorial walk.


Newfoundland Supreme Court.


St. John's harbour.


Boat in the harbour.


You can see rocky hills in the St. John's harbour.


The famous rainbow-coloured houses of St. John's.


More rainbow-coloured houses.


A unique sculpture at St. John's harbour.


The story behind the salted Newfoundland codfish or "saltfish" and how it got to be a staple in the Caribbean.


Easternmost point of Canada #1. This is as close to the edge as I would go.


Easternmost point of Canada #2. That is Christina who went to the edge. Christina is pretty brave to go to the edge. She has two artificial knees and hips and is a six-year cancer survivor. Don't let her pretty smile fool you. She's one tough cookie.


Easternmost point of Canada #3.


Easternmost point of Canada #4.


Easternmost point of Canada #5.


Easternmost point of Canada #6.


The moss that grows on the Easternmost point of Canada.


Standing at the Easternmost point of Canada. I love the natural ruggedness of this country.


Standing at Signal Hill. It sits at the height of St. John's and you can look down and see the metropolis spread. Cyclists actively ride up here and there is such sense of community up here. (There are lots of tourists.)


Signal Hill is the place where on 12 December 1901, the first transatlantic wireless transmission was received here by Guglielmo Marconi in an abandoned fever and Diphtheria hospital, which has since been destroyed by fire. The transmission, in Morse code, originated from his Poldhu Wireless Station, Cornwall, UK. (Thanks wikipedia.)

Rocky Harbour Retreat Highlights

I was a little bit skeptical about this at the beginning. The confidence that I had coming to the retreat melted away and all the fears came that first night. I began to wonder if I should even be there. Besides I have thyroid cancer (aka the best cancer). I didn't know if mine was serious enough to come to a cancer retreat. (LIES!) Other participants at the retreat were told that they had the best cancer too. And there were still others who thought they did not have it as bad as the next person. But what I learned was that CANCER is CANCER. We all have been impacted by our diagnosis in some way. There was a lot of sharing, small groups, and fun times. We ate really well and this was the first vegan outing I ever had. (By the way, I developed some vegan survival skills.) I have not cried so much since my diagnosis as I did that weekend nor have I laughed so much. I CANCERvivors really know how to have fun. We had a talent show. (A sense of humour is absolutely necessary when you have cancer.) And when I needed to take a nap or a break, it was TOTALLY okay. Everyone understood why. I came to this retreat, a little concerned, worried, and not sure how I was going to be (feel). I go home feeling more clearheaded, prepared, and with new friends! (I posted some photos of the friends I made. Others were not posted if I did not get to ask for their permission.)


Ray and I.


Hiking to the lookout.


Doing a little karaoke. Since the operation, my singing voice is still a bit mashed. (I sing in a lower register now and there are some notes I can't reach.) So I was a little self-conscious to say the least. However the participants were very encouraging and some also had voice changes as a result of their treatments. It was such a forgiving audience. I sang "Groove is in the Heart" by Dee-Lite and "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin.


Getting ready for the Polar Bear Dip.


The brave 'uns- Josh and Mikey.


Amy and I met at the airport that first night in Deer Lake and cabbed it to the motel. I know so many Amys.


Steph, my roommate, and I.


Steph, me, and Joey.


Those are really my feet. Proof that I was really there at Gros Morne Park.


More proof.


Robin, Joey, and I shared this wonderful view.


Below that edge was huge drop off cliff. I made sure that I stayed safely back.


Enjoying the fresh cool air.


I was really there.


One of Rocky Harbour's cemeteries.


Heading back...


In this beautiful place, there were so many for sale signs.


Last Gros Morne sunset.


Me, Julie, and Josh-- the three musketeers.


Tamarah, my Haitian sister, and I. We were so happy that we were not the only Black girls in Newfoundland that weekend. (LOL)


I took a leap of faith to come here.


Bye Gros Morne.


The golden coach awaits.


The trip back to Deer Lake.


More beautiful sights.


My one and only moose sighting during the whole trip. Poor thing got scared and ran away.

A New Reality

I just got back from my Writing for the Health of It class at the Cancer Support Centre. I don't remember much of the class since I slept through most of it. I was sooooooo tired. At the end of the class, I left and tried to find a different room to nap in. Laying there, I felt soooo embarassed. I have never fallen asleep through such a small, personal class where everyone is sharing their work (and life experiences). I returned to the first room, I apologized to the instructor. She and a participant said that it was okay and commended me for giving my body what it needed. I guess the feeling of embarassment (and lack of control over my tiredness) was too much because then I began to cry. (I'm becoming such a cry baby these days. Darned tears and hormones.) Thankfully, the instructor and participant were very understanding. I dried my tears and came home to have another nap.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Soul II Soul - Back To Life

This song title could not be more fitting. (Soul II Soul sang it right in 1989.) I arrived late last night in Toronto. Christina and her mom dropped me home. (So sweet.) We had a lovely day yesterday in St. John's. (Again, I promise to post the photos today.) This morning, I did my meditation but I am feeling really tired but the reality is there was still stuff to figure out. I went to an appeal hearing this morning for my sick benefits, then I went to the government office to follow-up on paper work for sick benefits, and now I'm home making phone calls, e-mails, eating lunch. Sometimes my healing recovery feels like a job as I make it to all my appointments, cooperate with the forms and paperwork, as well as phone calls, supporting documents, etc. etc. The nice thing is although I'm exhausted, I feel like I can handle things one... at... a... time. My lengthy to-do list is slowly getting complete. Also, I'm making sure that I give myself breathing room (for naps and to just catch my breath and sit). Even if I had to cancel the art therapy session today, it's okay. I will be going to the Writing Healing group though. The blue-grey Labradorite ring that I purchased in St. John's yesterday is a physical reminder that I can take the peacefulness of Newfoundland with me.

Landed in St. John's

I landed in St. John's last night after a 10 hour road trip with Christina (one of the YACC retreat participants) and Karine and Angie (retreat organizers). We made a few stops for lunch, boutique browsing, taking pictures, and McDonald's sundaes. (My darned sweet tooth! Christina gave me a Lactase since my body has forgotten how to digest dairy.) I slept much of the way. I love long car rides. Just like a baby, I'm soothed by the sound of the car engine. We past by miles and miles of wide open spaces and hilly roads, the skies framed by trees on the mountain sides. At one point, I woke up and I thought I was in Jurassic Park. There were no people and no sign of human existence in these spaces. Newfoundland has these spots where you feel like it's just you and nature. The people here call Newfoundland "The Rock". Jamaicans call Jamaica "Jam Rock". I am observing that there are other similarities between Jamaica and Newfoundland including the Newfie codfish which is such a staple in Jamaica (and much of the Caribbean) as well as the "screech" (Jamaican rum) which is so popular here but it's also the spirit of the people. Both people are very warm here and hospitable but they also tell you like it is. No beating around the bush. They come across as very genuine. The older folks always greet you and the young adults (which there seems to be so many around the downtown core) are always ready to help. The other thing about Newfoundland is the accent. It is so distinct and in some parts, you have to listen really closely. It reminds me of Jamaican patois sometimes. There is a Newfie folk song called, "I's the b'y" and I tried to sing a Jamaican version of the same tune with "I's de' bwoy". The Newfoundland accent is sometimes Irish sounding, sometimes French sounding, and reminds me of a Bajan (Barbadian) accent. Also, like Jamaica in some parts, the houses in St. John's are multi-coloured. Yesterday, we drove through an old fishing village in St. John's called Quidi Vidi (pronounced Kiddie Viddie). The roads were so narrow, hilly, steep, and winding kind of like Muirhouse-Top Buxton (St. Ann's, Jamaica) where my mother and her family are from. Last night, Christina and I went to Piatto where I had a cheeseless pizza and she had a salad. This morning, we are off to Sprout, a vegetarian restaurant, for breakfast. Can't wait! I will post more photos really soon!

What I've Learned So Far

I think Oprah always writes an editor's note with this title on the last page of O, her magazine. Well, I'm going to take a page out of Oprah's book. (No pun intended.) Today is the last day, rather, morning of the retreat. Today, we leave Rocky Harbour (Gros Morne Park) and drive back to Deer Lake. From there, I will take a road trip (7 hours) to St. John's (the provincial capital of Newfoundland) with another participant and two of the organizers and fly out tomorrow night. (The reason we are not flying out tonight from Deer Lake is that the plane tickets were $ 2000. This was the cheaper option. Imagine! De' plane ticket so dear an' we live inna' Canada. It no like we gwine fly a foreign.)

So as I sit here facing the ocean, after my prayer and meditation, I wished to share what I've learned so far on this trip.

1. Cancer is not my fault. (I think part of me was blaming myself for my cancer diagnosis.) Cancer is not my fault.
2. Nature is healing. While here, I have had an amazing time being with nature, sitting outside, going on walks, etc. etc. Sometimes, I forget my symptoms. Don't get me wrong. I still am feeling the effects of my illness through exhaustion, waking up very very early (insomnia), heart palpitations, moodiness, anxiousness, muscle cramps, and loss of appetite at times but the difference is, I don't dwell on it. All I need to do is look at the majestic, snow-capped mountains or the wide-open ocean vista and realize that I'm surrounded by this beauty and I want to soak it all up. When I'm at home, I can return to this place (in my head or in photos) whenever I am sick.
3. Sensitivity and showing emotions are strengths. Just like when I teach my students, sharing your feelings can help you feel better. Now I'm learning that for myself.
4. I am not alone. There are other young adults walking on this cancer journey. I'm with people who get it. (And we are many. In Canada, 7,000 young adults are diagnosed with cancer ever year.)
5. Let go. Everyone here did not "plan" on having cancer. We all found out in different ways. In our young adult years, the time when you are trying to establish your career, identity, family, income, etc. is not the time when we plan to get sick. So sometimes athough we make the best plans, we have to yield and let go because things usually roll out the way they should. (Often not the way you planned them.)

More amazing photos to post soon. And no, they will not be all of me. (I had to ask permission of the people I met to post their photos. It's the courteous thing to do.)

Rocky Harbour Teaser

Posing across the street from the Ocean View Motel in Rocky Harbour, Nfld.


Campfire on the second night.


Gimme' s'more.


Sitting at a lookout point near Lobster Cove Head. I was so scared to go beyond the fence.


The famous peaks of Gros Morne National Park.


Lobster Cove Head lighthouse this way. We've reached our destination.


Lighthouse at Lobster Cove Head, Rocky Harbour, Nfld. (about 4km from the hotel) It's still active but closed since we were there in the off-season.


Standing on the base of stones at the lighthouse.


Another angle.


The sky is changing colour with one sunset.


The sky is changing more colours.


Again.


And again.

Created By The Father - Dennis Brown

This song has been in my head for more than a week. It reminds me to be mindful about nature. I am typing this at 6:20am in Newfoundland as I watch the morning sky gradually light up and change colours over Rocky Harbour.