I decided to create this blog to share my experiences, thoughts, and lessons through my cancer journey. As I have discovered veganism, good books, and inspiring arts along the way, this is a delicious, thought provoking, and creative healing journey.
After writing about Mortality, I decided to post something uplifting and inspirational. I have some beautiful photos that I took while spending moments at Edward Gardens in Toronto. This is one of Toronto's most beautiful places. I saw a lot of beauty that day. This song Created by the Father reminds me of being fully appreciative of nature around us.
The goose family.
There are Mama Goose, Papa Goose, and all the baby geese.
Meet the other residents of the park: Ms. Green, the glowworm
Mortality is a subject that I have not thought much about during this cancer journey. When I first was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, I did not think about death. Perhaps, I put it out of my mind. I tried to focus on other stuff. I remember at Christmas feeling the need to buy the nicest presents for my family members and I totally blew my budget. I felt this compulsion to give them the nicest gifts because, "I didn't know what would happen after my surgery..." At that time, I couldn't see beyond the surgery. I had never had a surgery before and so the idea of surgery terrified me. Now that I have had surgery and radiation and hopefully, nearing the end of cancer treatment, I have been thinking about mortality. It's come up a few times. Mortality is something that we humans face each day. However, some of us don't think about the fact that we will die one day. I know that mortality didn't become a thought again for me until the last few weeks. Despite all the things that I have gone through with my cancer treatment, I am still alive. I still live. I defy the odds that although there was this malignant thing growing in my body, I choose life and I live. In some ways, cancer is a gift for me especially at such a young age. Cancer forced me to soberly look at my life so I began to assess whether I was pleased with it. I was happy to know that I am satisfied with my professional accomplishments. Now that I am looking forward on the other side of my diagnosis (and surgery and radiation), there is so much that I want to do, feel, and be even though it will all come to an end one day, as it will for all of us and we don't know when that will be. For a young person to get cancer, it is like you are being given a serious reality check that you are not immortal. I didn't have to wait until my retirement, looking at my grandchildren or senior years to learn this, but instead during my early thirties. And although thyroid cancer has a 95-99% chance of recovery, you become aware that it, life, can all end one day. Thankfully, I have been given an early "wake up call" that I have only one life to live and I need to make the most of it. So in the face of mortality, I have life. I have vitality on my side and life is temporary. I am reminded of this during my Cancer Exercise group. Today is my second day and I am appreciating it. The first session helped me to feel more confidence in my ability to do physical activity again and that it can be this easy and manageable to get into shape again. I don't have to be so hard on myself. Although I ran a half-marathon (21 km) two years ago, I still can do that again one day but for now I am taking it slow. And today, I felt that I could begin to trust my body again that it will do what it is supposed to do, that my limbs and my heart are doing what they are meant to do. My body still works. As I look around at the other cancer patients and survivors completing their exercise programs, I feel like they are expressing victories over death, laughing in the face of cancer. Despite their mortality, they are living vitally and I am inspired. So I have attached this photograph of my feet standing on a trampoline. My favourite thing to do in the whole exercise space is to jump on this trampoline and feel the vitality in my legs launch me into the air and then back down to the surface. I am vital! I am alive!
We made it [through our thyroidectomies]!!!! Chrissy, Nadia (me), and Lindsay are all smiles. I met these ladies at the Thyroid Cancer Patients' Forum in May and now they are here at another Thyroid Cancer Patients' Forum today in Toronto. This forum was organized by Wellspring cancer support centre and held at Women's College Hospital. The talk was called "Thyroid Cancer: Navigating Support and Education Resources for Patients" presented by Dr. Catherine M. Kelly, MD, FRCPC a Clinical Educator and an Associate Professor of Medicine at the University of Toronto. She is the Division Director of Endocrinology at Women’s College Hospital. Often at these forums, there is a lot of clinical talk and then after you get to share information and concerns with other patients and survivors. This particular forum today was pretty intimate with only about 7 of us patients in attendance. (I recognized 4 of these patients, myself included. :-) I had a number of my questions answered and I must say I'm a little pissed. First, there are so many ways to "kill a horse" (or treat thyroid cancer, I know an ironic phrase for a vegan) depending on the endocrinologist and their experience, research studies, the surgeon's skill, intuition, and the direction of the wind, also seems to be a factor. All jokes aside (no seriously, can the side of the bed you wake up on be a factor?), is it possible that my experience of looking for other opinions related to my radiation dose were all for not? If you read this post, you'll get the idea. According to Dr. Kelly, she also agrees with the studies that have come out which do not indicate a difference in the effectiveness of a RAI dose of 30 miC versus one of 100 miC. You know when you here something over and over again and the lightbulb starts to come on? Well, this is what happens when I attend a forum like this. I learn more about my illness and how I can access better care. I am also so thankful to meet other thry'vors (thyroid cancer survivors) who have lots of information and knowledge to share. Chrissy recommended some excellent scar treatments (like Dermatix and silicone bandages) which I might be able to use in place of the steroid injections that my surgeon suggested. (Again, if the less invasive treatments don't work, I can always do the steroid injections.) Then Lindsay recommended a good book that I have been meaning to read called "EVERYTHING CHANGES: The Insiders Guide to Cancer in Your 20s and 30s" by thyroid cancer survivor, Kairol Rosenthal. This book contains many stories from young adults also dealing with various cancers. Definitely, a summer read. (I'm currently reading two other books already so Rosenthal's book will have to be next.)
I am so thankful for this forum, the wisdom of patients and survivors, and the many options out there for treatment. I am also so thankful that Chrissy and I could have lunch and share our experiences and resources. I leave this day once again inspired.
I am still a new vegan so beyond my readings, I am trying to learn more about veganism and meet other vegans. Toronto is a wealth of vegan events thanks to local organizations like the Toronto Vegetarian Association (TVA). There were two last Saturday (on the same day!): The 1st Annual Toronto Raw/Vegan Festival and then the Compassion Marketplace (part of the TVA Compassion Week.) I love these kinds of events. Festivals are my thing! (I used to organize film festivals. Mine nationally touring one was called ICED IN BLACK. Plus I worked and volunteered for others like the Toronto International Film Festival. I also worked for the Francophonie Games are like the French-version of the Commonwealth games.) I love festivals for the opportunities to bring a large group of people together and to learn, appreciate, and showcase our cultures. Plus I love the entrepreneurial spirit these events often bring together. I chose to profile these two events through pictures.
1st Annual Raw/Vegan Festival being held in a building. I used to live across the street from this place. Last I knew it was a Chinese Buddhist Temple and before that a church but now it is 918 Bathurst, a new arts, culture, media, and education space.
When I first went past the entrance, it was packed. This was pretty full for the first of its kind. They did well. Inside there were so many vendors and entrepreneurs selling their wares. There were shiatsu masseuses, natural vegan retreats, perfumes and natural beauty products, herbs, vegan snacks, healthy cooking pots and containers, and Thai vegan tatoos. I even saw Suzanne Wyman selling organic clothes from Yes World Boutique. I have not seen Suzanne for a while and have known her for years. She travels the world, imports clothes, and sells them. Her business is doing well and expanded. I love the entrepreneurial spirit!
I had to sample this vegan Nanaimo bar. Although it the price was a bit 'tief at $5, I had to sample this raw creation. They made the cream filling with ground cashews.
I'm afraid this is where my Compassion Marketplace photos start. It was held at Wychwood Barns. I was in such a hurry to get there that I forgot to take pictures. (I'll get to why I was in a hurry soon.) No fear, here is Jenny of Apiecalypse Now. She can also be found on facebook. Jenny is a grad student in Environmental Science in my alma mater. (Hi five, Jenny!) She bakes and sells vegan goodies at farmer's markets and events. I love the entrepreneurial spirit!
Her food was so popular that all she had left were these vegan marshmallows. Yum. My very first. They were so sweet and slightly lemon-y. I could have bought more. I asked her how she made them. She said mostly sugar but other natural ingredients. I love it!
Now, the reason why I came here in a hurry. This is Colleen Patrick-Goudreau of Compassionate Cooks. I did not know too much about Colleen before other than what the bio on the Compassion Week site told me. She is an author, educator, activist, and vegan chef based in Oakland, California. Her talk was entitled, "Getting to the Meat of the Matter: Debunking the Myths about Being Vegan". I attended it and loved it. I have not listened to any of Colleen's podcasts before but as soon as I got home, I began to listen to some of them. After her talk, I asked her one question. Basically, "I just became vegan in March, I learned all this stuff now about animal ethics and environment beyond the health benefits, now I feel isolated. I don't know any other vegans. How do I meet other vegans?" Her answer? 1) Listen to her podcasts about social situations with vegans, 2) Find groups and activities on-line where you can meet other vegans, 3) Go to different events, 4) Volunteer with TVA, and 5) Know that this will change after the first year. I love it and know that this is very similar to how I went about meeting other young adult and thyroid cancer survivors/patients. Colleen stuck around to do a book signing. I haven't read any of her books nor bought them but I definitely recognized them. Right away I recognized COLOR ME VEGAN and VEGAN BAKING. You go, Colleen! Keep doing the great work that you do. (She's also very sweet. She gave me a CD. I love gifts.)
Now as I got ready to leave, I began to devour these amazing lemon raspberry tarts by PinkHart Diner. They were soooooo good. I almost ate them all before I got this photo. I left the Compassion Marketplace so inspired by what I saw today. I met such inspirational people. I also met some inspiring women (Liz Marshall, a director and Nina Beveridge, a producer) from Ghosts Media Inc. They are working on a film about factory farming and animal rights through the eyes of a famous photographer. They are currently fundraising for the film. Having run film festivals and worked with filmmakers, I know that fundraising can be a huge feat but I wish them luck. Unfortunately, I do not have photos of these ladies but you can also visit them on facebook. Please check out their site and support them.
I was so excited by what I saw today! People are being compassionate, care about their health, and sharing their creativity with the world. So inspiring!
>< >< >< >< >< Taste of the food These dishes always come out on top. The BBQ Tofu is outstanding. The spicy sauce that marinades the tofu pieces is slightly sweet and just perfect. Reminiscent of a Caribbean marinade. On the second visit, I had a very typical Jamaican dish of boiled green bananas, yam, and sweet potato with pumpkin and spicy callaloo. Very much like mom used to make. My third visit which is profiled here I had the whole wheat dhal puri roti with spicy Jamaican pumpkin filling. It's very mild but I turned up the heat with the complimentary spicy red sauce. Of course the corn soup is always amazing.
>< >< >< >< Look of the food Great presentation. I wish I had more photographs of the food.
>< >< >< Environmentally-Responsibility One Love uses reusable plates, utensils, and cups.
>< >< >< >< >< Health Savvy Ikeila, one of the owners, is very knowledgable about health and food. When I caught up with her on a slower afternoon, she was able to speak. I told Ikeila about my diagnosis and she highly recommended Chinese herbs and finding out from Jah what I am to learn from my cancer. I took her advice.
>< >< >< >< >< Hospitality/Warmth Very good. I think this is One Love's strong suit. They are pleasant, hospitable, and welcome you with a smile. When you are finished, they come to your table to clear your plates. They make you feel at home.
>< >< >< >< Décor/Vibe The music ranges from Lauryn Hill to roots reggae to soul. The first time they went they were even willing to take a special request from my friend. The decor inside is pretty simple but they have a beautiful wall mural outside.
>< >< >< >< Added Perks The health advice on my second visit was very useful. Also, I was allowed to take pictures.
>< >< >< >< Ethical and Community-Minded One Love has local newspapers, business cards, and flyers for upcoming events accessible to clients. During the summer months, they have a One Love corn and corn soup stand permanently set-up at the Harbourfront during its festivals.
Price
$10-$19 This covered the price of my large whole wheat dhal puri roti and Kiss Me juice.
Same when I bought my BBQ TOfu, juice, and cupcake. (Yes, they have cupcakes.)
None of my summers are complete without spending time enjoying the wonderful festivals at the Harbourfront Centre. For the last eleven years, I have attended several free concerts and events. It has been such a blessing to see some of the best live roots reggae acts perform as well like Ernest Ranglin, The Melodians, Queen Ifrika, Frankie Paul, and Lee Scratch Perry, all for free. I have also had a chance to see and sample the arts and foods from cultures around the world. One permanent fixture of this beautiful gathering of people is the infamous One Love Corn Soup and Corn-on-the-Cob. Enrobed in a perfect blend of spices and butter, this corn is nothing like you have ever had before. The soup is hot, spicy, and thick with chunks of carrot and corn-on-the-cob. So after many summers with long line-ups of famished patrons who were willing to wait up to an hour under the blazing sun to sample some these well-loved items, One Love Vegetarian Cafe has opened up a much-anticipated location on Bathurst street, north of Bloor. Formerly Joyce's, a Jamaican owned store which sold island produce and products for almost forty years, One Love now dominates the corner across from Bathurst subway station. I remember my mom telling me that when she first arrived to Canada in the seventies, this neighbourhood was where new Jamaican (and other island immigrants) could get a flavour of home. Today, you still see evidence of this with beauty salons, barber shops, and the occasional elder walking around. One Love is well-loved by its patrons. Everyone who comes in there seems to know exactly what they want. The environment is casual and I get that it is very much a takeout restaurant. However, I can never bare to leave once I purchase the food, so I am one of the patrons who sits and eats the food. The first dish I had was BBQ tofu with rice which was outstanding in flavour. Since I usually like to try something new, I sampled the Jamaican typical dish on my second visit and on my third, the spicy pumpkin roti. By far, my favourite is the BBQ Tofu and a friend of mine has eaten it pretty much any time she visits One Love (which is often). The word of One Love is getting around so it is no surprise that on my second visit, I saw Hollywood-celebrity Woody Harrelson there. I did go star crazy a bit. (You can read about that encounter at my post Living La Vega(n) Loca). It is also so nice to eat vegan food with an ethnic twist (familiar flavours of my Jamaican background). Although they do not make the corn at the restaurant, you can order their famous corn soup. The nice thing is you can try to make this dish at home since One Love has shared their recipe with the Food Network. I have made this recipe a few times and it has always gone over well. My kindergarten students and their parents, my friends, my fiance... they all love it. (See my corn soup here.) Come to One Love and try island cooking at its best!
Kiss Me! juice (combination of mango, strawberry, and lemonade)
Home-Brewed Ginger Beer
Whole Wheat Dhal Puri with Seasoned Jamaican Pumpkin filling
Ikeila Wright (One Love owner), Woody Harrelson (Hollywood actor/environmental activist), and I skinnin' teet' (smiling) at One Love in March.
Taste of the food >< >< >< >< The TVP tacos that my fiance and I had from Hot Beans on Pedestrian Sunday were amazing. The tastes and flavours of the tomatoe-y and fairly authentic. I could tell they used a corn tortilla.
Look of the food >< >< >< >< >< The presentation of these tacos was totally photo-worthy. Unfortunately the first time I had TVP tacos I forgot my camera. The second time, I actually began eating them before I remembered to take the photo so one of the tacos looks totally devoured. Good signs of a great taco.
Environmentally-Responsibility >< >< >< >< >< Excellent job here. Hot Beans not only has a recycling bin for cans and bottles, it also has a composting bin. That's right! A compost bin in the restaurant so your left over crumbs will also be devoured by vermiculture. Plus, it's containers are made with paper and plant fibres while the forks are made with potato cellulose. What a model!
Health Savvy >< >< I don't really know this one. I didn't see evidence of that.
Hospitality/Warmth >< >< >< They were okay about me doing a blog. One person asked me what kind of blog and when I told him about the cancer, he seemed interested. They were not exactly chatty with me but they were friendly.
Décor/Vibe >< >< >< >< Simple and clean. The stools and benches give me the vibe that this is the kind of place you would come to eat and hang out for a bit and go. I loved the African American soul and blues music that was playing.
Added Perks >< >< >< I got a cup of water. (There is a pitcher of cold water with paper cups on a ledge. This was nice especially on the hot day it was.) They let me take pictures as well.
Ethical and Community-Minded >< >< I didn't see a community board but they did have a few flyers for Compassion week as well as some independently-published, photocopied books about how to become a vegan.
Price $0-$9 Will get you a main dish (e.g., 2 soft-shelled tacos) with a side
I love getting to Kensington Market any chance I get even if it is the middle of the week during the day. So when Kelly at Kindfood mentioned Hot Beans, a vegan restaurant was located on Baldwin, I had to make sure I was there. (They also have another website here.) Unfortunately, I forgot my camera (or the battery was dead). I can't remember, anyway after listening to Baque de Bamba perform their Maracatu Brazilian music, left and made our way to Hot Beans. My fiance did not order anything but I ordered the TVP soft-shell tacos. When the staff was finished preparing them, I was handed this compostable container full of the most perfect-looking tacos. So mouth-wateringly pleasant to the eyes. (If you look at the Hot Beans link, you will see photos to show what I mean.) It wasn't long until my fiance asked me for a taste and then we were both cramming yummy tacos into our mouths. We love the chips and salsa too. Then about a week later, I headed back to Hot Beans quite as a "spur of the moment" thing after buying some Jamaican produce at a Kensington shop. I decided to order the same dish. Mmm... mmm... mmm. The TVP morcels were pleasantly chewy and juicy. The taco is a bit of a messy eat as Hot Beans really fills the taco with lots of TVP, tomatoe-y sauce, and drizzled cashew sour cream. Yum! I once again ordered a side of corn chips with salsa. The corn chips were crispy but the salsa had a very limey taste. Maybe they added a little more lime that day. The pitcher of cool water was a nice added touch. Leaving this place inspired me to start a Restaurant Rating. I will visit this restaurant again. The food is that good. I can't wait to try their tacos with "pulled pork" (seitan) and green jackfruit (I've only had ripe jackfruit before and never when it's unripe). Plus, the staff make the foods right in front of you with fresh ingredients. They also serve up burritos and doughnuts. The fact Hot Beans is focused on just a few items, gives them plenty of opportunities to serve these foods up right.
The yummy soft TVP tacos with a side of corn chips and salsa. I gave the "Look of the Food" rating as 5 blue butterflies because it looked good until I devoured it. (I forgot to take the photos before I started eating it. The food looked so good, I just dug in.) I tried to get as close to the taco as I could with as little disruption to its picture-perfect form. But if you wish to see what the before photo looked like click here.
I am totally inspired by this blog called 100 Cancer Resolutions. It is written by a young woman also documenting her cancer journey by doing everything she took for granted before her diagnosis. I love it. I met this woman in one of my cancer support activities and I'm not sure if she wishes to be identified plus she doesn't know that I'm posting this. She is a reader of my blog. And if she is reading this right now, I hope that she knows that through her blog, she inspires me to live my best life during this journey. (Ick!!! Isn't that another Oprah-ism? Best life. Did she copyright that?) Anyway, check out her blog.
A vegan girl can get vex when there is no food that is edible. So luckily I live in a city where it is not too hard to find vegan food that is... only if you live downtown. If you live in downtown Toronto, or close to it, you pretty much can find anything. (And I do mean anything.) So this Vex in the City installment is not for a restaurant but for two Toronto events that are very vegan friendly.
The first is for Pedestrian Sundays in Kensington Market. Remember when you were a kid and there were those television shows that show people coming to life and dancing in the streets and you never saw cars. There were shopkeepers and fruitsellers and Bohemians and eccentrics and they all had smiles on their faces. No I'm not talking about the "All Night Long" music video by Lionel Ritchie or Sesame Streets... this happens for real, on the last Sunday of every month from May to October. Unfortunately, I forgot my camera that day so I can only tell you about the tantalizing treats. I ate some beautiful tasty, vegan, ital baked goods by the two ladies who do Omega Creations. I had a black bean brownie and some other heavenly goodies. If you visit Omega Creations on facebook, you will actually see the table from which I bought the treats. I also visited Hot Beans for some yummy TVP soft-shelled tacos. This was a picture perfect meal but I won't say much here since I review Hot Beans in a later installment of Vex in the City.
The second event I tried to attend was the Toronto Veggie Pride Parade. This was the second annual parade organized by the Toronto Vegetarian Association. Unfortunately, it rained all morning so I got a late start to attend. I met my friends and we decided to go to the end of the parade where we thought we might catch some festivities. However, the parade started late and got sped up as the participants rushed through trying to avoid a second shower. Fortunately, we got to the end meeting point which was at Trinity Church where there was a ton of vegan food and it was free. (I love free.) There were two speakers at this event: Nimisha Raja of Evolving Appetites and David Sztybeld, Ph.D. There were also performances and a raffle. TVA had to reorganize the after-parade events due to the rain. (Some folks had bailed out so they made due.)
Here are some highlights from the Toronto Veggie Pride Parade 2011.
Queen Vegan and I saying cheese. (Daiya, soy, etc.)
Sugar Shakers performing the Charleston.
Taste of Life Organic Vegan Foods – Vegan Jamaican Patties? Hmmm... let me have a taste.
Very mild taste, kind of like lentils and peas. Not spicy, not very Jamaican.
Urban Herbivore's amazing tasty sandwiches. I couldn't tell what the exact ingredients were but these sandwiches were outstanding.
Yummy vegan chocolate cake by sweets from the earth.
I think I'm finally getting the hang of this blog. I have wanted to put tabs on for the longest time but I didn't know how. The instructions were a bit tricky and my computer technical phobia got the best of me. Yet, between yesterday and today, I began to follow the instructions and I think I got my blog looking more now like I want it to look. I think this was necessary as my very young blog (I started it April 8, 2011) nears 100 posts. I thought that it is difficult for new readers to navigate all of the titles. Plus, I enjoy going back to look at my blog and it's nice to know where everything is. It took me about four and half hours to sort and tab everything. (It goes by usually quickly as long as I have some music I enjoy. Like I said, I have an amazing energy and persistence for writing, blogging, and cooking but it seems my energy has been zapped for almost anything else.) It's not perfect but it works and is an improvement! This was also a good way for me to constructively deal with a situation that I was angry about. (I talked my way through that one.) Hope you find it an easier read.
I wish to share this beautiful mural of a garden completed in pastels, chalk, paint, and markers. I attended an art therapy group for cancer patients and survivors for the last several weeks and on the last day we completed this work together. This was an amazing experience for me. Although it was not my first encounter with art therapy (I have participated in individual art therapy years ago), but it was my first group experience. I must say that it is especially rewarding since we all share our stories and offer each other support on this journey. Often, I connected with things with others. I am now more inspired to do more art boldly and shamelessly.
Sofia Vergara is a Columbian-American supermodel/actress is the star of Modern Family and also a thyroid cancer survivor. She talks about beating thyroid cancer and there is the little discussion at the end about her scar.
I have decided to write an update on Meaty since he has not received any publicity recently. Many of you may know Meaty as my thyroidectomy scar. On April 15th, I posted His Name is Meaty which showed photographs of his healing and transition each week from January to April however I know that he continues to heal. In fact, I was told that it will take up to two years for Meaty to heal completely. Since my last update, Meaty continues to make the transition. My biggest fear was that Meaty would begin to keloid. If you are black, brown, or olive complected, you probably already know what a keloid is, have one, or have someone in your family with one. If you are white, you may already know because your friends of colour may have complained about them or you might be one of the rare persons to have one.
According to wikipedia:
Keloids are firm, rubbery lesions or shiny, fibrous nodules, and can vary from pink to flesh-coloured or red to dark brown in colour. A keloid scar is benign, non-contagious, and sometimes accompanied by severe itchiness and pain, and changes in texture. In severe cases, it can affect movement of skin.
Now doesn't that sound spectacular.
I have been quite concerned before my surgery that my scar would form a keloid. My sister in New York gave me a list of treatments that her great dermatologist gave her to give to me. I also have tried to use naturopathic remedies and creams for the scar as well as Vitamin E. Then I began to use a product called ScarGel that contains silicone over the last two months. Silicone is supposed to reduce a scar. Also with my surgeons recommendation, I began to massage the scar by stroking my finger along my skin repeatedly. After the Thyroid Cancer Patient's Forum, I heard a number of patients say that they were pleased with Bio Oil for the reduction of their scars. (A number of thyroidectomy patients on other sites also recommend Bio Oil.) So I have been using Bio Oil this week. I know one person so far who has used the steroid injection and it helped reduce her scar.
So you know when they say if you focus on something too much you only magnify it, I wonder if that is what happened to Meaty?
I saw my surgeon today and he agrees that Meaty is keloiding so he has suggested a series of monthly injections of a steroid which are to shrink it. He said I would need a numbing cream before the injection so it would not be so painful. There is also a small risk of hyperpigmentation (lightening the skin in the area of the scar).
I have noticed a few different ways that others' thyroidectomy scars have healed. I notice on many white people that the scar tends to be a pale thin line. On many Black people, like my mother, the scar is slightly thicker and the same colour tone as the surrounding skin. I have also seen scars heal differently depending on whether someone has had a second operation and/or neck dissection.
I don't mind if my scar is visible, I just don't wish it to be soooo noticeable. I also don't hide my scar especially when I know I am going to be around other cancer patients or survivors. (And I don't want to always have to cover up my scar.) At times I will wear a scarf or sunscreen on it if it is very sunny or if I wish to dress up or if I am meeting new people.
Occasionally, if I am on the street or talking to a stranger, I will see their eyes drift slightly down and I think they are looking at the scar. I wonder what they are thinking. 'Hmmm... I wonder if she was in a knife fight?' 'I wonder if she was stabbed in her throat?' 'Poor thing. So pretty, if it weren't for that scar.' Maybe this is all in my head. I am actually proud of my scar but I would much rather if they asked about it out loud instead of the look.
I added a clip of supermodel/actress Sofia Vergara talking about her thyroid cancer I could not find the interview in which she mentioned that there is a lot of things you can do for the scar these days. I notice that in none of her photos is her scar showing so whatever she used must be working. (Then of course there are the camera tricks and photoshop.)
Nevertheless, if anyone has ever had the steroid injections for their scar, please let me know how it went for you. You can e-mail me at: bluebutterflyblog33@gmail.com.
I decided to start a Vegan restaurant rating as I try different foods during my journey. I thought I could have some fun with it and give deserving businesses some publicity. As a polyglot (a multi-linguist, I speak Jamaican patois, English, French, Spanish, and Italian with varying degrees of fluency), I also know that some things are better said in other languages and sometimes challenging to translate. So I have decided to create a bilingual rating system of the restaurants I have eaten at in both Jamaican English with their approximate translation in Standard English. In addition, once I have figure out how to put tabs on my blog, I will be able to organize these articles much better. If you have any suggestions, please e-mail me at: bluebutterflyblog33@gmail.com
BUTTERFLY VEGAN RESTAURANT RATING
(Written in Jamaican English with approximate Standard English translation)
>< >< >< >< >< A dis' ya' top of de' line someting (Outstanding)
>< >< >< >< Everyting irie (Good and very good)
>< >< >< Alright still (Just okay)
>< >< C'mon man! You c'yan do better 'den 'dat (Needs improvement)
>< A what de ras'? (Deplorable)
Taste of the food Look of the food Environmentally-Responsibility (use of environmentally-friendly practices including reusable utensils and dishware, composting, biodegradable utensils and cookware)
Health Savvy (organic food, do they know a lot about the food or the plant-based foods, intentionality, informative, resourceful)
Hospitality/Warmth (friendliness, service with a smile, my bias is for chatty restaurateurs and chefs, do they like to chat, do they listen to their clients, outgoingness, caring about the customer)
Décor/Vibe (includes a good musical selection, choice of paint, patio, etc.)
Added Perks (if they gave me any free stuff or that something extra for reviewing their restaurant for free, yes I am an opportunist)
Ethical and Community-Minded (are they connected with any larger community? e.g., community info board, Toronto Vegetarian Association, events, etc.)
"Take the time... take a breath... 'til you feel your soul awake." I'm not quite sure what Bandy Bandy is but it sounds like they are talking about self-healing and self-care to me. This song was posted on facebook by a professor friend. The first time I saw Zap Mama was years ago on Sesame Street and they (there were 3 members) sounded nothing like anything I've ever heard before. They were doing an a capella merry-go-round with Big Bird. Kind of like a Afro-European female Bobby McFerrin. It was beautiful but eery. I saw Zap Mama perform with Les Nubians, my favourite group at the time, in 2003 in Toronto. What a great show! As for Erykah Badu, I'm a die-hard fan and love her creativity, eccentricity, and livity. I have all of her CDs. So when I saw this post and never heard this song before, I definitely needed to share it. What a combination of talents! We all could use a little Bandy Bandy!
"Any time of day... Any place... if you are feeling down... just do what you need. In the morning time... in the afternoon... in the cool evening breeze."
Taste of the food >< >< >< ><(Very good)
Look of the food >< >< >< >< >< (The cupcakes rock!)
Environmentally-Responsibility >< >< >< >< (I did not get to ask the owner about this one but they use reusable utensils and dishware. Plus their food is organic and non-genetically modified (non-GMO).
Health Savvy (organic food, do they know a lot about the food or the plant-based foods, intentionality, informative, resourceful)
>< >< >< >< ><
Hospitality/Warmth >< >< >< >< >< (The guy at the cash was soooo patient with these two women who were in front of me in line and had lots of questions and thoughts. He took his time to speak with them as did Kelly Childs, the owner, when I spoke with her after closing time. I did not book an interview with Kelly but she took the time to chat.)
Décor/Vibe >< >< >< >< >< I do not remember too much of the music but the decor is cheery and colourful and my photos do not Kindfood justice.
Added Perks >< >< >< >< >< Yes, I got a referral to another restaurant that I'll be reviewing (HOT BEANS). Plus, I got a free Dulce de Leche cupcake.
Ethical and Community-Minded >< >< >< >< >< Kindfood has a community info board plus they participated in Veggielicious organized by Toronto Vegetarian Association. They also teaching vegan cooking classes and give lessons on youtube.
Price (for a full meal including side and drink) $20-$29
As the weather is getting warmer and summer approaches, the urban dweller wishes to find a spot to dine. Typically this is a patio or some fine establishment where one can enjoy a good meal. If you are vegan, meat- and dairy-free meals aren't that easy to find so sometimes you find yourself wandering like some aimless vampire trying to secure a victim.
You do have a few options however. You can either find dishes at strictly vegan or vegetarian restaurant and occasionally at a regular restaurant like Magic Oven Pizza. Some cities like New York or San Francisco seem to have like a gazillion (is that a word?) vegan places to eat. Others like Toronto have a few eateries like One Love (see my post called Soup), Live, Fresh, Annapurna, and other one-word names. And some cities like St. John's, Newfoundland have only one vegetarian restaurant (The Sprout).
It can get frustrating when the search for a vegan meal is a long one and your stomach is growling. When you finally give in to a nice restaurant with a patio, you are more annoyed that it does not have any vegan option so you have to end up eating pita bread with hummus and bean dip as a meal. (And the overpriced pita bread has cheese baked on and tzatziki as well. That's what happened to me yesterday. Venting.) So in response, I'm starting a series called Vex in the City. "Vex" is an old English word which means to annoy, torment, irritate, or distress. In Jamaican patois, when we say someone is "vex'" it means that they are pissed off. And when you are vegan and cannot find a suitable vegan meal, it can be frustrating. ("A hungry man is an angry man," from Bob Marley's song 'Dem Belly Full But We Hungry'.) So I am starting this series of posts to highlight some of the best vegan locales to dine.
I've already mentioned the names of a few places like those mentioned above and some of which I discussed at length in previous posts like One Love and The Sprout. I will a write a bit more of a structured, semi-regular series called "Vex in the City". (Awesome if I do say so myself. I was going to call it Vegs in the City but the pronunciation would be all screwed.) Right now, beyond sleeping, my energy level permits me to perform two main activities: writing and food (eating it, preparing it, discussing it, photographing it, writing about it), I thought, "Hey, why not add promoting vegan restaurants to the list.") And even though my appetite is returning in dribs and drabs, why not make it all about food right now?
So my first installment of Vex in the City is a cute little place called Kindfood. And it's so fitting that this is the first Vex in the City post is Kindfood since the very first book to inspire me to become vegan is called "The Kind Diet". I learned about Kindfood originally through one of those facebook ads linking me to their facebook page. I was automatically intrigued by their concept-- awesome looking vegan cupcakes that tempted me, regular posts, and updates, and smoothy-making lessons on youtube. From reading the Kindfood blog, holistic nutritional information, and website visits, I became an instant fan even though I hadn't tried out their food yet.
So while I was in Burlington for the Thyroid Cancer Canada Patients' Forum, I remembered Kindfood might be in the city and just might be downtown close to the Patients' Forum. (Unfortunately, I only had salad at the forum since the sandwiches were not vegan, so I was starving.) So I called 411 from a payphone in Sears at a shopping mall asking for the phone number for Kindfood. I called and I was instantly greeted with this friendly male voice at the other end. "You can't miss us. It's bright green and pink building."
So with those directions, passing the busy lakeshore, and historic buildings, I found Kindfood.
I entered the restaurant and I thought, "Oh my gosh, I'm in California." Well, I've never actually been to California but I would imagine this place to be it or someplace in the southwestern-U.S. I admired the fluorescent green exterior and the hot pink sign, the neon Aztec art and the orange walls, the wooden floors, tables, and chairs with colourful cushions on them. This place is so cute! There were all the famous cupcakes on display, a refrigerated grocery area, and lots of interested customers who came by out of curiosity.
I ordered the KIND burger and Moroccan quinoa salad. I love the descriptions of food in menus so I've posted them with the meals below. I took one bite of the open face burger (which I put together) and said mmmm... real food. The tempeh was warm and just the right texture to enter the comfort food category and I loved the chewy gooey Daiya. This was a burger that I didn't need to put ketchup on since I so much wanted to taste "real food". The quinoa salad had a fresh and lightly sweetened Moroccan flavour.
The waitress was friendly and very familiar-looking (she was in the smoothie lesson).
Kelly Childs & Erinn Weatherbie from Kindfood making a Superfood Smoothie
I noticed that a lot of people came in but because it was five minutes to closing time and the kitchen closed, they had to be turned away. But I noticed that almost all of them didn't seem disappointed because they were still able to buy the cupcakes. Oh yeah! Vegan cupcakes are gaining in their fame and Kindfood is definitely known for them.
I so much wanted to sample one of these delectable treats so I ordered a Dulce de Leche cupcake to-go.
One thing I noticed about this staff is how "invested" in the food they all seemed. They served you with sincerity and a smile and I could tell that they really believe in their work. They were not just selling food here but good, quality healthy food and if you read their "modus operandi" on their menu it states:
OUR FOOD IS
high-quality, wholesome, 100% plant-based and animal-free.
OUR INGREDIENTS ARE
nutritionally dense, brought in fresh from local farmers, foragers and
artisans. It’s Natural and Organic, lovingly made with no additives,
preservatives, herbicides, fungicides, pesticides or GMO‘s.
So I got the feeling I was also taking medicine. Not Buckley's-type of cough syrup but a more holistic, nutritious, delicious and kind medicine. ('Let thy food be thy medicine'-- Hippocrates.)
I got a few moments to speak with Kelly, the owner of Kindfoods. Kelly is a petite tanned, California-blond woman who used to be a bodybuilder. (She still is in great shape.) I told her about how cancer played a part in becoming a vegan. This will sound cliche, but it's so refreshing to talk to someone who "gets it" and Kelly really does. We discussed the advantages to becoming vegan and how it can help to regress diseases. We talked about THE CHINA STUDY. We talked about njera (Ethiopian flatbread) and she recommended some great vegan places to eat in Toronto. (She suggested the HOT BEAN in Kensington Market but unfortunately I forgot my camera the day I went there but I'll definitely be back.) I loved our chat and will definitely come back to KINDFOOD perhaps for a cooking class, some famous cupcakes, or a chat about veganism and holistic nutrition. Once you know all of this stuff, you can't go back.
There it is KINDFOOD in Burlington, ON.
Neon Aztec sign.
Window of goodies.
The famous vegan cupcakes. That day, there were Red Velvet, Chocolate Mint, Dulce de Leche, chocolate chip cookie sandwiches filled with creme, and even doughnuts.
My KIND Burger (grilled tempeh with Daiya cheese, tomato, romaine, with home-made vegan mayo all on a multi-seed sourdough bread) and Moroccan Quinoa Salad (w/ garbanzo beans, black beans, olive oil, garlic, onions, raisins, carrots, mint, cilantro and ginger) Yum!
The view from my table.
Kelly Childs and I in front of KINDFOOD.
Mine all mine! I tried to keep my Dulce de Leche cupcake so safe and still in its plastic casing. I drove carefully on the highway for about one hour from Burlington to Toronto as to not mash up the frosting. Almost made it and then five minutes from home, the container shifted when I applied my brakes. No doubt, I still got the taste. Yummy! The frosting is like the texture of a sweet caramel marshmallow.
For my regular readers, you have probably noticed that I have not blogged as much over the last two weeks. Lately, I've been a lot more tired and as I've learned from other thyroid cancer patients, this is part of the recovery. I still feel like it is difficult to accept. I feel like I should be feeling more energy and I should be feeling less tired but in fact it has been just the opposite. It's especially odd for me since the weather is getting really nice and sunny and my mind is telling me, "Go outside, get active..." And my body tells me the opposite. At the Thyroid Cancer Patient's Forum, some thyroid survivors said they felt this urge, this feeling of "have to" or "want to" do lots of stuff but not feeling able to carry it out. I feel that way about now. I'm used to mentally behaving in my "yan energy" in the sense of get up and go running around but my body physically is not able to carrying out those things right now. My body is saying rest and be calm. Yet I feel sad like I'm missing out.
On Monday, I went to see a Traditional Chinese medical doctor who was recommended to me by a friend of a friend. (Thanks Alison.) I almost cancelled the appointment because I was sooooo tired and it was only noon! (I woke up at 9:30am that morning.) Instead, I decided not to cancel and instead went to see her. Alison was correct, this doctor was awesome. She took the time to explain to me the philosophy of Chinese medicine-- the theory of the 3 meridians in the body, the acupuncture points, and chi. According to this doctor, since I had my thyroid removed, my yang chi energy is very low. (According to my new friend Josh who is I met at the YACC retreat, yang is the "male, sun energy, the get up and go energy as compared to yin which is the more peaceful shady calm energy." That sounds right since I definitely don't have much of the "get up and go energy".)
I decided to try TCM for my thyroid cancer when Ikeila from One Love recommended it a few months ago. I have not been averse to TCM but I already see a naturopath which is kind of like a "catch all" for alternative treatments. However naturopaths have a big toolbox of modalities and treatments, TCM is more specific. Plus, at this point of my recovery, I have already had surgery, radiation, and thyroid hormone so I think that it could not hurt to try the TCM. The TCM doctor recommended cupping on my back and acupuncture for my front. This would begin the movement of my yang chi and balance my meridians as well as remove toxins. She also prescribed herbs.
I can't explain exactly what was taking place, it did not feel that different aside from the suction of the cups which got sore when a few were removed at the end. The acupuncture needles were like tiny pinches-- close to what a mosquito bite feels like. I also took one homeopathic (which was prescribed my naturopath the previous week).
But for the first time in two weeks, I felt enough energy to take a walk. So I walked at the Evergreen Brickworks. I still felt tired mind you and had to pause a few times to break and to sit, but I actually felt enough energy to walk. And in my books that's h-u-g-e. I will need to return for more follow-up treatments but I'm excited to see how my body responds.
So since the TCM and homeopathic, I felt a shift in my energy. I still feel tired and require my 1-2 long naps a day however, I feel able began to enact my self-care again and this gives me more hope. (I started my self-care plan on Tuesday!!!) It's just too bad that Traditional Chinese Medicine and Naturopathy are not covered by OHIP (Ontario Health Insurance Plan) or my medical insurance.
I have posted this photo of a turtle that I saw in the pond of Mud Creek. I sat on stones near a pond under a shady tree and the whole time I was there, I saw this turtle sitting still. The turtle did not move its body aside from stretching its neck and placing its head underwater. The turtle did not give me any indication that it was missing out on anything since it was obviously watchful. The turtle reminded me to be still and let my healing take place. I won't miss anything if I keep watch and "be". I love to look at nature for little lessons like these.
