Thursday, May 23, 2013

Dreamers Afraid to Dream

This morning, I woke up with a long list of things TO DO. I wonder if it is realistic or even possible however it is what I set out to do. I believe in writing down my goals. I believe in looking at them OFTEN. I also believe in breaking them down into manageable bite-sized pieces. One way I do this is by having my list of 90 day goals. For February 24 to May 24, I had a list of 16 goals. (It's hard to stay at 10.) I accomplished all but 4. The reasons were out of my control. For example, #1 Sell my car and #7 Train for a 10km in May were thwarted due to my car accident that totalled my vehicle and also required me to change my training schedule since I needed to rest my back. Otherwise, I am fiercely proud of what I have been able to accomplish. The 21-day challenge is another story. What I have learned is not that I cannot do my list of goals in 21 days is that there is a difference between a habit and a goal. The 21-day challenge is designed to formulate new habits. In addition, I can only work on one new habit at a time. So, as I get closer to the end of May, I am realizing that my original New Year's resolution of blogging once a week is attainable. This month, I have been able to many times. This is my 16th post which says to me that this goal is totally attainable. I think my new 21-day habit in June will be being at least 15 minutes early to my appointments and places I need to go. Speaking of goals, I also think of dreams. After all, a goal is a dream with a deadline. I have achieved some of my dreams and I continue to dream. One of my dreams is to get my children's stories published. I am one step closer. I submitted a manuscript of a children's book to a publisher who has taken a look at it, likes it, and offered a lot of feedback. I was/am thrilled and terrified. When I saw the letter, I did not want to look at it out of fear. Fear of what? I don't know. Fear of my own success? Fear of the fact that this was actually happening? I was at work and then when I got home, I decided to read the letter again. I was scared to look at it. Then, I read it again and I was also scared to look at the comments on the manuscript. Was I scared of criticism? OMG. Anyway, I saw on trey anthony's blog today a post by Tyler Perry which I could relate to. I felt like I was reading my journal. Well except the part about the Oprah Winfrey Network of course. Here it is: THIS IS FOR FRUSTRATED DREAMERS I was driving in to work this morning and I started thinking about all the days I dreaded going to work. I was so sick of it… the job, my boss, the people I worked with, the traffic… I would wake up angry every morning. I didn’t want to deal with the crap of the job, but I was forced to go. I had been homeless, I was broke, living paycheck to hopefully the next paycheck. I couldn’t take a day off for fear I would get fired. I was just frustrated. I thought I hated my life and the job. It was so aggravating because God had placed all these dreams and hopes in my soul and mind and I had no idea how they were going to come to pass. To have a dream of being something better and living better than the way I was at that moment and to not see a way of getting there felt like death to me. I thought, “Dear God, why would you give me so much hope and not make a way?” But what I learned through prayer was, with no path in front of you and no road map… this is where true faith begins. With faith I realized that I wasn’t frustrated with my life or the job, I was frustrated because I was a person who had dreams for myself, a person who had visions for my life and I wasn’t living it. Have you ever been there, where you felt so strongly that there was more to this life than what you see in front of you? One of the most difficult things about being a dreamer is the fear that the dream will never happen. I’m here as a living witness to tell you your dreams can come true. You can’t give up. And I am here to let you know that everything can work together for your good. The time that you are spending on that job that you think is a dead end is not. You’re being prepared just like I was. I was a shoeshine boy, I worked as a bill collector, a used car salesman, in housekeeping in a hotel, and they all were preparation for where I am now. What do these things have to do with where I am now? I’m glad you asked. I am able to use skills that I learned. I shined shoes, so I know how to shine my shoes if I need them to look nice. Selling used cars was a great way to learn how to close a deal. Bill collecting taught me great negotiation skills. Working at that 5-star hotel taught me a lot about travel. Every experience in your life is here to teach you something. Today, while you’re at work, don’t be frustrated. Look around you and ask God what are you there to learn and how will it be a part of your future dream. Honor that job, do the best you can at it, because God will bless you for honoring something that belongs to another. I hope this inspires you today. If you need a little more inspiration then watch my first sit-down interview in years with Oprah on Oprah's Next Chapter. It airs this Sunday on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network at 9/8c. I talk a little about not giving up. I know it will move you. Here’s a prayer for today: “God help me hold on, help me to get to what I dream of, help me to honor where I am today so that I can appreciate where I will be tomorrow. In Jesus' name.”

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